Wednesday, September 06, 2006

When was the last time I really worked a program? Really? Thinking about it I am not so sure I can even pinpoint when I started halfassing things. I got to a point where I kept crashing and burning and so I let myself take it easier, which I don't think was a bad idea, but only 3 workouts a week for 2 months, combined with very restrictive eating (vegetarian) and then low calorie/fat, left me with losing a few pounds total and being fed up. I think it's time to kick it up a notch and really kick ass the way I know I can.
The fog finally lifted this morning, I woke without that perennial haze I've been living with and I have decided that "good enough" is not good enough, for me. I'm angry that it is taking me so long yet again. You see, I've lost those same pounds for the second time after having our child and it took me a super long time yet again and I'm not happy with my results. I toy with sizes or weights in my mind, but the thing I really want that I have not achieved is the feeling I'm after, strength, and the look and reality I have mouthed about striving for is that of an athlete. A strong, sleek, cat like body for lack of a better description. I am not looking to be a twig, or even extremely ripped, but I want my outsides to reflect my insides.
Today I am watching my nutrition yet again and I took John Reid for a thirty minute walk, mainly up hills. Pushing all 25 lbs of him plus his stroller, really makes that a much better form of exercise than just whistling Dixie by myself. I'm about to do a resistance workout (upper body I'm thinking) and I pledge to honor myself at dinner tonight. We're going to a sports bar for a friends birthday (and somewhat our anniversary, which is today but we're going to a nice place Friday night) and I will eat like an athlete that cares for her body, not a sports fan with a mountainous beer gut.

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