Monday, April 30, 2007

Thank you for the congrats ladies! I am pumped and all the school bullshit that seemed so hyooge and overwhelming isn't stressing me nearly as much. Now that I know where I am going for Fall semester and it is in fact where I really, really, REALLY wanted to go a tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Speaking of weights (SEGUE!!), I just completed my first workout since getting sick and of course it was a weight lifting session because that is my favorite and I don't normally miss. Just as a started doing a set of conventional deadlifts, a bigass wasp came zooming at me and the phobic freak that I am I hauled back into the house. Hrm, where is the spray? AH! Of course in the garage with the mofo wasp and my workout equipment that I was irritated to be separated from after my absence. After moving on to dumbbell rows I heard him come back, ran in the house again, etc. Finally zapped him but he veered drunkenly under the partially lifted garage door and I was sure the entire workout he would be back with about twenty of his cousins.
I am proud that I finished, my strength is a bit gone and I burned more calories than usual in the time period so it was not my imagination that I was struggling some. I thought I felt somewhat untouched but when I walked back to get cleaned up a minute ago my legs are leaden and my shoulders, back and arms are weak. Neglected abs but the coughing has had me rolling out of bed with them hurting anyway. Heh.
I'm focusing on functional lifting-strength that is going to help me in my daily tasks as mom, homeowner, etc. Wow, just crossed my legs and it was a bit difficult. That's what I'm talking about, yo.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Remember that nutrition program that only accepts 16 people a year that I was so worried more worries!!! I got my acceptance letter and I'm so happy I could puke. YAY.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Still sick. Gave in and went to the doctor, it is viral just like I thought and I feel like I wasted my time, but it got WORSE people. So I had to go. And it looks like I have something similar to what put my work aholic, never take a day off Dad in bed and made him lose his voice for a 3 weeks.
I'm getting weaker and flabbier and crabbier by the minute.

Monday, April 23, 2007

I am really sick-as in more sick than I can remember being in a long, long time. I pretty much lost yesterday if you don't count the idiocy I displayed by going LIGHT FIXTURE SHOPPING while really, really sick and then coming home and shaking under the covers for a long time because of pushing too hard. And we didn't even find anything we liked, which you know, was icing on the cake of poo day. I am missing working out so much it is really bugging me. I even briefly considered doing it anyway which would be even more stupid than my actions Sunday since my balance is really bad and I am drinking theraflu just to be able to sit up. So if I have correspondence with you or leave comments on your page and it doesn't make sense or seems "off" please know I am hopped up on teh(sic) drugs. As long as I am better in time for lifting day. Oh and we're donating our scale to Goodwill, neither one of us needs/wants it anymore.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Yowza, I said I was going to focus on my back more and by golly, ouch. Dumbbell bent over rows, Yates row, and one set of shrugs for the hell of it = major soreness today, but as I had to explain to my Husband, that's a good thing. Did one set of dips yesterday too and then a set of extensions with the dumbbell (though I think it was the dips that did it) and damn my arms are screaming. The Olympic lift I practiced with a much lighter weight than I think you are supposed to use (I'm not stupid and don't plan on hurting myself anytime soon) was the hang clean, but with more of a squatting motion like I watched demonstrated on Crossfit. It felt really, really cool. I definitely wish I belonged to a gym that had the equipment to do this for real, maybe the gym we should be joining any time (through Husband's work) will have it and maybe some instructional type folks to help.
Once again I had to fight my way back from teetering towards dietdom again, bleh. I did though and immediately feel so much better about myself and life in general. Amazing. *snort
I will not track my weight. I will not deny myself what I want to eat, with the knowledge that I know what is good for me and really, truly enjoy a healthy lifestyle at this point. I don't need restrictions because I have effectively reprogrammed my brain to want what is good for me, and if I sometimes want something that is not? That is okay, it is life, and I rarely want more than a few bites of something that is not good for me, it makes me sick because I eat cleanly for the most part. Sweets are too sweet for my tastes most of the time and I can have 2-3 bites and be done with it. Now if we could just work on cheese fries with bacon, jalapeƱos, chives, and ranch dressing. Le sigh. I keed, last time we ate that we were both sick for hours and had a hard time sleeping. Speaking of food, yesterday I ate an egg white scramble for breakfast with butternut squash and red new potatoes in it, with half a piece of organic whole wheat toast. For lunch I had my leftover Salvadorian food and a nice big salad with broccoli slaw, organic tomatoes, romaine hearts, cranberries, feta, walnuts, and a lite caesar dressing. So. freaking. good. Yay!
After reading, or I should say devouring the Mindless Eating book LME sent me, in one sitting last night I wonder if I don't care for sweet potatoes, butternut squash, carrots and pumpkin because I have a negative mental association about them beforehand that makes it taste bad to me. I really wish I liked all of these foods as they are beneficial to your health and make dishes so, so...PRETTY. Meh.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

I'm working on writing something that is bouncing around my head like crazy but I don't want to post it until I can really articulate what I mean. So here's some other random crap. Heh.
O chem exam was killer, my classmates are struggling as much as I am so at least I don't feel like a moron, just a person in an extremely difficult course that is not easy for many if any. I felt plain exhausted when I left and I didn't have time in between lab and picking our son up to get in my lifting work out. He has a bit of a cold so I figured he would want to lay down and I could do it then. Well he didn't really want to lay down until much later than I thought and by then I had decided if I was going to be able to lift when Husband got home I needed a nap. I felt progressively crappier as the minutes ticked by and so I fell into bed when I put him down for a nap. It hit me that maybe something was trying to take me down too, I felt drugged and like I was held down and couldn't get up even when he started fussing and not wanting to sleep. I knew he would if he just gave in so I dozed in and out until he dropped off finally and I then proceeded to have nightmares about being in the backseat of our pickup while Husband was driving way too fast and there were empty beer bottles in the door clanging and the road changed all the sudden from what it should have been and we either did wreck or were going to, that part is fuzzy. Then our Boy was in water with us and he was drowning and I was the only one that saw and was trying to scoop him up with one arm while I was drowning to and the angle was wrong somehow and I was actually holding him under the more I tried to get him and I woke up freaking out big time. My head hurt and I felt even more drugged and I had left my HRM on because I was dressed to workout and my heart rate had risen considerably from when I laid down.
I was having a hard time standing and was so thankful that Husband's softball game was canceled so he came home and I wasn't alone feeling crappy trying to be single mom. I did start feeling better after awhile but I knew there was no way I should be lifting heavy things and then we decided to go out to eat, I just couldn't face more turkey and veggies.
Husband suggested one of the new places on the lake front about 10-15 minutes from here, the development has great big fountains and outdoor eating areas and we had Salvadorian cuisine that was out of this world! I had a pupusa, tamale, plantain, yucca, black beans and black rice. The chips were brought out with black bean dip and a great fresh salsa and the chips themselves were thick but airy, not sure how to describe it really but fantastic food.
I still feel tired today but I did get my workout in and feel properly worn out all over. Deadlifts are awesome and I also tried an Olympic lift a few times which was awesome.
Ack, so much to say but my wonderful Boy is awake and it is time for his lunch.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Yesterday was yet another non stop mindless eating day so I guess stopping myself Monday didn't work that well, unless you count the food I didn't inhale at that point. I ticked off another planned workout which made me feel very good about myself, and it was cardio on the elliptical which has been extremely hard lately for some reason. I went to go get started and hit the play button on my iPod and nothing...uh, hell no! I need my music to get me through cardio, or so I thought. It pissed me off so I marched out there and knocked out my workout with no music, at night, after I took my med-extra points for me! Also, my heart rate did not shoot up too hight over and over this time like it has since I started this medication so that was encouraging.

Wow this post is dullsville, but I have an exam in a few hours for o chem and my brain would not let me sleep to my alarm, I kept dreaming I was getting married again and no one would really help me get ready or anything. Interestingly, my Husband was the groom in this dream but I had been married/started to marry someone before. I think I've been reading too many blogs, I read one about a girl getting married before I shut the lappy down last night.
Extremely proud that I am keeping my word on workouts and cut out the excuses though. There's the point to this in one sentence.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Yesterday mornings planned yoga can be checked off, at least 40 out of 60 minutes can. After completing the actually workout part (mostly) I just laid face down on the carpet so I realized I needed to stop. I have never had to quit early during yoga except when I was sick once and it was a miracle that I got even that far. I am sick of this medication that makes me feel like a weakling. Today is cardio and I am not looking forward to my heart rate shooting up over and over and I will be calling my doctor today to see what the heck else I can do because I want OFF this med, as in NOW.
So my upper back is sore today because I focused a lot on form during my yoga session and it is a great back workout with all of the negative pushups, upward dog, and even the sun salutation sequence in the beginning if you keep your movements sharp and think about keeping your shoulders down and away from your ears. I thought about where I can fit in a TT workout (tubu1ence training) like M@rla has been doing but I wonder if it would kick my ass too much to use just as a cardio workout. I won't know until I try it right?
I started on an eating rampage last night, after studying or I should say TRYING to study organic chem for an exam tomorrow morning, and having to stop constantly to police the little one and not understanding the problems right off the bat over and over...I started eating without being hungry. I fixed a half a natural peanut butter/simply fruit jam sandwich which more than made me full and was fine, and then I started scarfing handfuls of walnuts, cranberries, not sure what else at the pantry. In walks the Husband and he heats up some rice pilaf and turkey tenderloin for his and our son's dinners and I get a spoon and stand there and start eating rice...yes all of this was not unhealthy foods but it was too much and it was sort of a frenzied behavior and I was mentally sniffing out what was next when I sort of shook myself and went and brushed my teeth. I felt like crying, the comfort I was trying to find was not there and it left me feeling defeated. I had a late hair appt at 7:30 so that saved me and got me out of the house but I didn't want to go, I was so tired and felt haggard and ashamed of myself.
I'm okay today and my hair is bitchin'. HA! I crack myself up.

Monday, April 16, 2007

I thought this was a good article, especially the second to last sentence.

Aim for Balance

Healthy ambition requires us not to push ourselves so hard that we are incapable of having a balanced life, but not to take it too easy, either. This seems like a fine line, and in fact, in yoga practice it's often referred to as "the edge." It's the place where you're working at the top of your body's ability on that day. If you worked any less, you'd be slacking off; any more, and you'd be risking injury. What yoga can do, experts say, is help point the way toward healthy, balanced ambition, both for people with lots of drive and for people who feel they lack it.

To attain balanced ambition, your goal should not run afoul of the yama, or principle, of ahimsa, or nonviolence. Interpreted literally, this means your goals shouldn't harm other living beings. But it also has a broader meaning. It means not running over other people in an attempt to get ahead, and not harming or neglecting yourself when you're trying to accomplish things. So you may have to change the way you go about pursuing your goal,perhaps by shifting the time frame for accomplishing it. The key to balanced ambition is to focus on the process, not the outcome of your actions. In yoga terms, this is detachment, or nongrasping.

From the Yoga Journal newsletter.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

I made a recipe (posted below) but made a few changes so it didn't turn out the same way as when I helped make it Easter Sunday. I subbed butternut squash for the yam, left out the bell pepper accidentally, and the carrots on purpose.
After I made my four day at a time plan I read an article stating most people can do things four days at a time much easier than say a week or whatever. And there I said that I would just have to accept that I am different. Ha!

Tomato Vegetable Casserole
Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis
Show: Everyday Italian
Episode: Dinner Party Delivery
Tomato Vegetable Casserole
1 medium potato, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1 medium yam, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1 red bell pepper, seeded and cut into 1/2-inch pieces
2 carrots, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch pieces
5 tablespoons olive oil
1 red onion, thinly sliced into rings
2 small or 1 large zucchini, cut crosswise into 1/4-inch-thick pieces
Salt and pepper
2 large ripe tomatoes, cut crosswise into 1/4-inch thick slices
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
2 tablespoons dried Italian-style bread crumbs
Fresh basil sprigs, for garnish

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

Toss the potato, yam, bell pepper, carrots, and 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a 13 by 9 by 2-inch baking dish to coat. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and toss until coated. Spread vegetables evenly over the bottom of the pan.

Arrange the onion slices evenly over the vegetable mixture. Arrange the zucchini over the onion. Drizzle with 2 tablespoons of oil. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Arrange the tomato slices over the zucchini.

Stir the Parmesan and bread crumbs in a small bowl to blend. Sprinkle the Parmesan bread crumbs over the vegetables in the baking dish. Drizzle with the last tablespoon of olive oil.

Bake uncovered until the vegetables are tender, and the topping is golden brown, about 40 minutes. Garnish with fresh basil sprigs, if desired

Thursday, April 12, 2007

I am loving all these comments! *takes a moment to roll around in the commenty goodness*
It's sort of a pain in the rear to leave comments on my own DARNED BLOG but I really do appreciate the support and knowing a have "internet friends" out there.
My lower body felt sore but not unmanageable when I got up today, and as I mentioned I scheduled out workouts yesterday through Saturday in Sparkpeople. I normally take the day after lifting off from any structured exercise but I thought a nice long walk would not only help a bit with the lack of workouts but sort of stretch my muscles out so they didn't feel too tight. I took our son in the jogging stroller for a 45 minute walk through the park under the shade trees arching over the path. The creek is pretty full and I couldn't help but think what a gorgeous day to be alive.
After sitting down for a minute when we got home my legs were so stiff I could barely walk, and I'm achy now but satisfied. There will be no peeling that monkey sticker off today's date on the calendar.
I'm cooking a veggie casserole of sorts tomorrow with butternut squash, red potatoes, and purple onion. I forgot grated Parmesan and large tomatoes for the top-anyway, I'm curious if anyone has any good recipes for butternut squash, I've never attempted any culinary magic with this particular variety of squash.
We're watching "Rocky Balboa" and I gotta say I didn't think it would be this good but I was just bouncing around on the couch like a loon during the match scene.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I am shaking, but in a good way. I somehow did not burn as many calories but I know I did a great workout. Despite my myriad mental issues lately I will NOT missing a lifting session and I was excited to work on my squat form and to try sumo and conventional deadlifts. I tell ya, conventional or sumo deadlifts either one are MUCH harder than stiff legged, at least in my opinion. I can do stiff legged deadlifts with close to twice the weight of what I did today. Just trying to pick up the barbell off the floor with 50 lbs loaded on it was too damn much and that is not that hard when doing it stiff legged. My hamstrings are already tightening up, but not in an injury feeling sort of way so I bet I just need to get on the floor and do a good stretch session and maybe some myofascial massage on the foam roller.
I'm going to compare weight loads to the last time I wrote it down when I get a chance and I hereby promise to keep track of it in a .doc or excel sheet from here on out-I don't like stopping to scribble when actually IN my workout so I think I will plan the weights beforehand and then adjust as needed. I can usually remember fairly well what each is but eh, the ol' brain-she isn't what she used to be.
Eating has been spot on, I decided to not "count" (pts or calories either one) but to focus on veggies with each meal if possible and to avoid triggers again for awhile. Apparently pasta and meat sauce is a bad one for me, even whole wheat and lean turkey. Just typing that made me feel hungry, wow.
I've neglected my back for too long since starting home workouts-at the gym I used the assisted pull up machine and loved it but um, I kinda don't have one here at home. Yoga and pushups focus on your back muscles but I don't do either one enough to get great results back there. So I better hit Krista's site and find a good compound lift for my back and I'll try that next time.
I also planned all workouts in Sparkpeople as I said I would and already placed my monkey stickers on the calendar for workouts so I HAVE to do them now. Heh. New plan, focus on 4 day segments and go from there, that is where I tend to vier off the path. I feel badly that other's have a hard time with months and here I am with a four day limit but to each their own.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Wow, today went from bad to worse and now that I am sitting here really sick to my stomach and feeling low I am putting an end to it. I did not work out, the thought of it literally made me want to cry so I passed. Instead I proceeded to eat myself sick for the last several hours, including homemade cookies (something I have never even made before). It is time to "fake it till I make it" and that means using outside resources until I can trust myself again to stop being so destructive. I have set up a workout schedule in Sparkpeople and I will be counting my food until I feel I can stop without hurting myself, which is basically what I have done the last two days. This is so disappointing, I've been on auto pilot with food and exercise for a while and it has seemed almost effortless. This too shall pass.
Suppose an update is in order since the lovely life is grand blah blah train has left the station. I feel bloated and crappy and have not worked out since the prematurely ended cardio Saturday. Spent a lot of yesterday crying, feeling suicidal and laying on the carpet. I am NOT someone that ever has those thoughts even when the world seems its blackest but random thoughts about it would just pop in my head, very upsetting. Not something that would ever happen, my life rocks 99% of the time, but I think this nerve med is really jacking with my head. I have to drink M0nst3r or I am a zombie and I think it is starting to give me a UTI, but who the hell knows with my screwed up lady parts? Eh?
Wow what a bitter post, hee! Completely contrary to how most people would react to all of this I am looking forward to attempting some cardio when Husband gets home to stay with our son and tomorrow is lifting day. I will not be beaten, but I do have to say that it really sucks that every time I ALLOW myself to feel happy about my appearance or strength, my legs get knocked out from under me and I immediately get sick or bloated or you name it and I feel like a slug again, both in how I look and my energy level. I feel like I dare not breathe a word of pride about it or I am doomed. I also have the irrational thought that I can bust my ass and eat well and nothing will happen for me unlike other people. There is some validity to that thought since as I mentioned I have stayed in mid to high 20s bf percentages for several years now except for during/immediately post pregnancy. Consistency is the key I think, hell I don't know at this point. I am pretty damn consistent.
/end pity party

Sunday, April 08, 2007

I'm so excited about what is happening to my body lately that I feel like a little kid waiting for a present. Of course I also wake up each day and expect to see more change and it doesn't work that way. I'm weighing in once a month and recording it in SparkPeople which also takes your measurements (waist, hip, and neck). It's funny not caring about stepping on every day any more, I thought I would have a hard time with it but since I have released my obsession with eating the scale neurosis has also disappeared. The weigh in thing is just sort of a curiosity since my weight has remained roughly the same since March/April of 2004 outside of my pregnancy time. Any normal body conditions time has been in the same range after I dropped the baby weight and it gets so damn old being the same for years on end, but I am sure there are worse problems out there, in fact I know there are and so seeing major changes in my strength and physique is awesome and the scale number can go fuck itself. Ta da!
I just drank a cup of Madagascar Vanilla tea and holy cow was it good, like a dessert in a cup almost, woo!
Still not overeating though I am hitting the fuzzy line between, but that is fine-this is not a normal weekend. I have familial pressure eating and I had Girlie night last evening at a great sushi place. I am pleased with my continued loyalty to my promise and myself. I'm not so sure this is IE but it is definitely mindful eating and treating my body and spirit nicely.
Yesterday I only did 18 minutes instead of 20 of cardio intervals because I kept having to stop/start over and over-maybe 7 times compared to the usual 2 I might do to take a drink and then at the end I started having light chest pains. I decided not keeling over was more important than finishing that last two minutes though it irked me.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

So hangin' at in-laws last night and they had SUGARED SPICY BACON pieces out as an appetizer. That may sound weird but holy cow were they good and I kept hovering around the bowl. I think I did rather well though on keeping my promise to myself to stop overeating, and trust me-the in-laws various homes are danger zones for me. *By that I mean his aunt or grandparents or parents, not that they own multiple homes or something.
Anyway, I got weird looks and even badgering to have wine or eat more food but I just politely declined and stuck to my guns. If dinner had not been put off until after 8 (also a hazard of eating with them) I don't think I would have eaten the bacon either or quite as much at dinner. Whatever, I stayed true to my way of life and resisted the numerous pressures and that is what is important to me.
I've spot checked in my head here and there and some days I think I may be eating pretty darn low cal-like too low cal but I am simply listening to my body and eating until satisfied and not full and if that is what it wants to do then I am going with it and not forcing it like a child at the dinner table. I know that pretty much each weekend and sometimes during the week we will go out to eat or have a social engagement and even if I am conservative with portions at those times, my cals are going to sky rocket and I think it will even out. I am not watching calories but I do have an eye on it in the background somewhat because I believe in good health through nutrition and I am not going to hurt myself, no matter what.
Weight training has made such a huge impact on my body and maybe I should clarify that: weight training the way I do it now as opposed to lifting three times a week and doing split workouts with 3 sets of each exercise. I do no more than two sets at most now but I use the heaviest weight possible to complete a set with good form. Last night I was asked to bring fairly heavy wooden folded chairs down from the third floor of Husband's aunt's house and I carried two down at a time without even feeling like it was work. Now that is muscles being put to practical use! His aunt would rush to the bottom of the stairs and exclaim, "Erin let me help!" She seemed to be afraid I would hurt myself, maybe no one has noticed my rippling biceps. I CRACK MYSELF UP!
Since stopping overeating my weight has stabilized but I can see definition coming out so I must be dropping body fat though the conventional wisdom of measurements and scale weight etc have gone all wonky. I tried to hit the big sale at Ann Taylor Loft yesterday but the 8s were too big and I thought 6's would be too tight, maybe I should have tried anyway but I was chicken. Just wearing an 8 has been very hard for me to accept as reality, I hold my breath every time I try a pair on, not to suck in my stomach but because I think the dream will be shattered. Maybe I'll believe the 8s when I am wearing 6's.

Friday, April 06, 2007

So the INTERVIEW is over and I think it went really well unless my radar is busted. I think the well wishes in blogland are what sealed the deal. *wink
I tried to get up and workout this morning at 7 but I was breathing underwater, or at least I felt that way. Supposedly you have heightened brain function for 4 to 10 hrs after you workout (good reason to do it in the morning rather than before sleep and wasting it). The pollen in the air is killing me, fatigue and my eyes are so damned dry my tears come out like dust. Okay it feels that way.
Currently waiting for my snackie meal to settle then I'm going to hit the elliptical for 20 minutes of BFL style intervals.
I know as weight loss professionals we are all told by the media and each other to take measurements and rely on that for validation instead of the scale. Well guess what? I don't always think that is accurate either. My waist is actually up a bit, my scale weight is down, and yet my size 6 skirt from Ann Taylor that fit a few weeks ago has at least an inch or two to spare now. Interesting no?

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Another great workout yesterday, I made it home after lab in time to fit in my lifting before picking up my son. I was sore just a few hrs later instead of waiting for it to kick in this morning. My interview for the nutrition program I've been working my ass off for the past year and a half is tomorrow at 11 and I am super nervous and doing a lot of thinking about how best to present myself. I really need to get off this couch and get the day rolling, there are so many things to do that I'm sort of dunking my head in the sand. That never got anything done.

Monday, April 02, 2007

I am not typically an evening workout type, of course it could be argued that I am not really a morning workout type either, ha! I tend to exercise more often earlier in the day though so I don't give myself a chance to feel "too tired" or whatever other excuse I might come up with when the day nears its end. My father visited us yesterday and we had a nice time despite my anxiety about the whole thing. After turbulent events of the last few years I get wound pretty tightly just seeing his number on the phone though he has done nothing to warrant these feelings in quite awhile, and thankfully it gets easier all the time. We went out for lunch and had so-so food and extremely sub-par service but I did not overeat and felt proud of that. Then we went to Coldstone Creamery for dessert and to walk around the shopping center. I got a strawberry banana smoothie with sorbet instead of ice cream and it was good and I didn't even finish it. I mention that not because I was watching calories, but because I started hitting that too full mark and I knew it was okay to toss it instead of making myself miserable. Another victory under my belt, and then last night's workout brings me back around to what I started on about in the beginning of this post. Even though I experienced heartburn issues from the restaurant food and felt tired I changed into my gear and hopped on the elliptical for my 20 min of BFL style interval cardio. I really pushed it, came close to hitting max heart rate and felt completely whipped when I finished. The coolest thing however, happened to be that it felt so easy when on level one and my HR stayed fairly low for quite some time-two things that shocked me. It seems almost like this happened overnight though I'm sure it has been in the works for awhile. Feeling cardio work be somewhat EASY was a huge new experience for me. I tried explaining it to the Husband but he was always in athletics and I knew he didn't really understand though he tried. I was ALWAYS the slow one, always the red faced end of the line, unable to do anything the other kids could do, person. It felt amazing to realize I AM becoming pretty athletic and these new muscles that look pretty are also functioning well too!
I did levels 1-4 which was also a first. Previously I had only been able to go to 3 twice and I went all the way to 4 four different times. The resistance on this machine is much harder than the ones at the gym. I was going to level 8 at the gym and starting out on 4 and I know I am stronger now than I was then. Anyway...
This morning I woke up and I just felt "skinny". This also seemed overnight, a layer has definitely shifted despite the ridiculous scale readings and nothing pudged out over the top of my jeans whatsoever and I just felt really good all day. I can see a difference though I haven't taken measurements and I am not sure I am going to at this point.
Just completed an hr of power yoga and I feel drained but proud. I am sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop though because every time I am on a roll like this I get sick or something weird happens. In an effort to not let my negative thoughts stick or whammy me, I sort of skip off to something else in my head when I start thinking that way. Like attention deficit on purpose, heh. I've been spinning my wheels for a long time and it seems like I finally broke up out of the mud.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

After reviewing the newly posted summer semester schedules that I must be enrolled in to finish out my prerequisites, I see that the NYC trip I thought would take place this year is highly unlikely. Perhaps I can discuss my absence of three days with the instructor and take labs at different times to make up the time/grades or something of that nature. I am fearful this will not be acceptable though and am more than a bit sad. NYC has resided on my list of places I want to visit for quite some time and I thought it would be marked off the list and moved to the places to visit again list this year. Jason's parents go to some type of jeweler convention there every year the last weekend of July and the big association would pay for our room! With airline miles and a paid for room this became extremely doable and yet here I sit with school beating me down yet again. The following summer whether at UT or OU either one, will still find me in a classroom or possibly doing field work and so the situation will more than likely remain the same. I think missing out on a few days at community college sounds more likely than missing out on several days of my internship, ya?
Jason and I made yet another recipe together from the Low GI cookbook, this time we tried Chicken Enchiladas, page 220. I just saw it says 4 servings...uh we made about a pan and a half (9 x 13) of these things, that comes out to be about a billion enchiladas a person. They turned out superbly and I'm happy to share the recipe if requested. Very clean tasting but extremely tasty, and I am not believing how many vegetables Jason has consumed with these recipes. True, they reside on the acceptable veggie list for him, but this seems to be a good way to get in more servings of them all. Once again we subbed a yellow pepper for the green but that was the only modification this time.
Yesterday our family trekked over to the Firewheel shopping center yet again (we love this place apparently) and attended sort of a "kids' fest" thing where the Kool-Aid man and the weiner mobile were in attendance and some guy shouting things over a microphone. I spent my time mainly in NY & Company trying on and buying the best dressed I have found in a long time. Extremely happy with the results, I've been looking for sundresses that don't happen to look like maternity wear. Hrm, the dresses are listed on their website and yet the pictures possess the clarity of mud. Boo.
Friday I completed my lifting workout and used the barbell to do my squats. It was a bitch at first because I had to rearrange things and I hate having to work on something in order to just GET TO the task at hand. The rack was turned so that you could do bench presses, something I don't do as I do flyes instead, and so after a scary attempt that could have resulted in injuring myself I set out to turn it around. After all I am the only one using the bench as Husband doesn't like lifting weights and is having to play mind games with himself to even do cardio. After wrestling with the stupid thing I got it lined out and was able to do the squats. I had to do three sets though and that is not in line with my goal of efficiency and heaviest weights possible with good form. I don't want to do more than two sets of an exercise as I do not believe more is needed and have achieved the best results of my entire lifting experience of several years off and on-not only in muscle growth but also in my consistency. I have been consistent with lifting for weeks and weeks and don't see it stopping now that I am not bored too tears with too high repetitions and too little rest in between that type of workout. Full body workouts with max weight and minimal repetitions have worked wonders. My legs finally got a good workout and I concentrated on form to the nth degree, including making sure to go a full 90 degrees down, which I THOUGHT I had been doing but maybe not so much. I think I was bitching so much mentally about my hands hurting holding the dumbbells that I wasn't coming down far enough, which irks me because that is something I feel is so important. If you do things half-assed just to lift more weight or to go faster than you are only screwing yourself. Yoga was last Wednesday, not sure if I mentioned that. My body actually seemed to be telling myself, "Self, it has been about a month without proper stretching and meditation, what the hell are you doing!?" So I got to it and my hips hurt afterwards and now feel much better than they have in a good long while.
Must dash, my dad is coming to visit today and I am sitting here with wet hair and a slightly messy (not too bad) house.