Monday, April 02, 2007

I am not typically an evening workout type, of course it could be argued that I am not really a morning workout type either, ha! I tend to exercise more often earlier in the day though so I don't give myself a chance to feel "too tired" or whatever other excuse I might come up with when the day nears its end. My father visited us yesterday and we had a nice time despite my anxiety about the whole thing. After turbulent events of the last few years I get wound pretty tightly just seeing his number on the phone though he has done nothing to warrant these feelings in quite awhile, and thankfully it gets easier all the time. We went out for lunch and had so-so food and extremely sub-par service but I did not overeat and felt proud of that. Then we went to Coldstone Creamery for dessert and to walk around the shopping center. I got a strawberry banana smoothie with sorbet instead of ice cream and it was good and I didn't even finish it. I mention that not because I was watching calories, but because I started hitting that too full mark and I knew it was okay to toss it instead of making myself miserable. Another victory under my belt, and then last night's workout brings me back around to what I started on about in the beginning of this post. Even though I experienced heartburn issues from the restaurant food and felt tired I changed into my gear and hopped on the elliptical for my 20 min of BFL style interval cardio. I really pushed it, came close to hitting max heart rate and felt completely whipped when I finished. The coolest thing however, happened to be that it felt so easy when on level one and my HR stayed fairly low for quite some time-two things that shocked me. It seems almost like this happened overnight though I'm sure it has been in the works for awhile. Feeling cardio work be somewhat EASY was a huge new experience for me. I tried explaining it to the Husband but he was always in athletics and I knew he didn't really understand though he tried. I was ALWAYS the slow one, always the red faced end of the line, unable to do anything the other kids could do, person. It felt amazing to realize I AM becoming pretty athletic and these new muscles that look pretty are also functioning well too!
I did levels 1-4 which was also a first. Previously I had only been able to go to 3 twice and I went all the way to 4 four different times. The resistance on this machine is much harder than the ones at the gym. I was going to level 8 at the gym and starting out on 4 and I know I am stronger now than I was then. Anyway...
This morning I woke up and I just felt "skinny". This also seemed overnight, a layer has definitely shifted despite the ridiculous scale readings and nothing pudged out over the top of my jeans whatsoever and I just felt really good all day. I can see a difference though I haven't taken measurements and I am not sure I am going to at this point.
Just completed an hr of power yoga and I feel drained but proud. I am sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop though because every time I am on a roll like this I get sick or something weird happens. In an effort to not let my negative thoughts stick or whammy me, I sort of skip off to something else in my head when I start thinking that way. Like attention deficit on purpose, heh. I've been spinning my wheels for a long time and it seems like I finally broke up out of the mud.

3 comments:

M@rla said...

Good for you on the smoothie. It really is so hard to stop eating stuff like that even when you're full - it takes a lot of personal awareness and observation to look for and react to your body's signals. It seems weird that should be so difficult and so unintuitive, it takes a lot of energy.

Erin said...

It is sort of startling how fast I get that signal to stop, I've been stomping all over it for no telling how many years. I have a problem paying attention to that signal in all areas of my life, whether it is food or alcohol, realizing I shouldn't say something and then actually not saying it, taking on too many responsibilities...It does take a lot of energy, I hope that at some point it feels more natural to me.

metamorphose said...

Sounds like all of your hard work is really starting to pay off. Nicely done with the smoothie, as well!