Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Wow, today went from bad to worse and now that I am sitting here really sick to my stomach and feeling low I am putting an end to it. I did not work out, the thought of it literally made me want to cry so I passed. Instead I proceeded to eat myself sick for the last several hours, including homemade cookies (something I have never even made before). It is time to "fake it till I make it" and that means using outside resources until I can trust myself again to stop being so destructive. I have set up a workout schedule in Sparkpeople and I will be counting my food until I feel I can stop without hurting myself, which is basically what I have done the last two days. This is so disappointing, I've been on auto pilot with food and exercise for a while and it has seemed almost effortless. This too shall pass.


csmc said...

I know what it is like to feel like there are so many struggles and the satisfaction of feeling like we have control of something in hurting ourselves. At least that's why I do it. I hear you and am saying glad yo uare taking steps to make sure you are paying attention to your needs.

metamorphose said...

Oh Erin. Sounds like it was a rough day. But you pick yourself up well. I hope the Sparkpeople thing works out well for you.