I've restarted school (effective today) and so I may be drained or over run at first, so far I'm seriously proud of how together I've gotten things and how little I am stressing out. That is my umbrella goal for this school year with many smaller goals residing beneath.
It looks like I may need to write several updates at once, either on the train or on the weekends so that I can have content to post during the week-I don't belive I'm going to hack that on a daily basis, not that I did anyway. I'll probably be posting MORE often now. Funny.
Went to see NIN last night and it was amazing as always-really picked up my spirits to be in the same room as such rampant creative genius. Drank a few too many however and woke up with the concert in my head at a little before 5. Never was able to go back to sleep so I just got up and started my day-oddly enough I still am not feeling too tired. Weird coincidence that it was 5am, the time I've set to get up and been struggling to achieve? Or is it an intention manifestiation? Either way I'm building on it from here.

We've been out of town this weekend so I haven't had a chance to do anything online related. I did complete the review for my re-entry test that we're taking Tuesday which is a complete departure from my old way of last minute stress inducing schoolwork. I am much more prepared and ready for this upcoming year.
Unfortunately I don't believe I have much to contribute to the blogosphere tonight so I'll sign off. Expect to hear much more from me.

This week has had many awakenings for me, huge shifts in my mental state and a feeling of clarity dawning that leave my mind racing and make it difficult to sleep at times. I mentioned not too long ago that for years now I've strived to constantly grow-to learn, to try new things and since sitting down and really thinking about what I wanted to do (hint:it was not running a call center or being the top tier tech support whipping girl)and deciding upon teaching in some capacity, I believe it's finally coming to me what to do with my life. Extremely poorly constructed sentence there but I'm just going to press forward.
For the past few years I have experienced the most joy I've ever known and been violently depressed and fearfull at the same time. It seems that would not be possible but now that the husk is being shed I see that how I've felt is not my norm and that I can be so much more alive. I say extreme joy because there is no other word for how our son makes me feel and what I have with my wonderful husband. On a completely selfish personal level I have not been right, aside from them, aside from the many good things I have and experience on a daily basis. I've felt broken at times, wondering why I have all these things, material and emotional and yet I would feel like a caged animal, frantic and worried and full of fear. Hiding my head in the sand regarding school, using the telephone, talking to people, being in new situations-so much fear. I used to be fearless, brave, a viking conquering new things and places and people with aplomb and I've wondered what happened to me. I'm not entirely sure but I can confidently say I'm throwing off that mantle and returning to a more authentic me, but new and improved.
It's amazing how casting off self doubt and worry allows my mind to sharpen, my strength to return and my will to no longer falter. I don't claim to be perfect but I am capable of great things when I'm not severing my own Achille's tendons.
I'm setting goals, I'm defining my purpose and I'm putting in the work to achieve a higher level of living. I'm doing this and I want to help others in their own lives-to experience wellness on a complete level and not just with nutrition. My mind scrabbled about like a crab in a bucket every time I've limited my future to purely being an RD, working a typical job sitting behind a desk admonishing people to follow the Food Guide Pyramid. The scope has been widened and I'm feeling good.

I'm working on a guest post for someone else so there may not be a post today but I will try! When I get my new site running I'll be posting 3-5 entries weekly and of a much greater length. It may be a while before I get it going-I want to stockpile some content first and get it all worked out how I want it to look.

Just finished KB workout-yesterday I just was not feeling it after Monday's debacle but I still went for a fast paced 45 minute walk-prob walked about 3 miles up and down hills. Today I woke up with sore glutes and arms/back. Tuesday I did somersaults and cartwheels in the yard with our son and a handstand against the back of the house and I'm still feeling it.
Today is my first day of IF-I'll definitely write about that.
CPR class at 2, I'm looking forward to school starting next week!

I'll write a proper post in the morning but right now I am pondering what domain name I need to register to start a more serious article based blog. Any thoughts? I'll write about nutrition and fitness related topics, mainly nutrition as that's my area of expertise. I'd love to hear everyone's ideas.

Thanks!

Yesterday I woke up feeling out of sorts-I'd slept too late despite intentions to get up earlier and I just felt blah for most of the day. I didn't want to do my kettlebell workout for the first time since I started and it took some serious prodding to get myself going. I didn't finish, barely did two circuits and didn't really enjoy it-something that has not happened before. I finally stopped when my heart started skipping a beat-seriously. It was a terrifying, scary feeling and I sent up the white flag and said OK heart I got'cha!

I made sure to walk around and not sit for a bit in order to let my HR return to normal, which it did fairly quickly. I'm not sure what happened but I don't forsee it being a problem again. I think I was too dehydrated (something I've had problems with all summer no matter what I try) and next time I feel that disinclined to do my workout maybe I can listen to my body instead of indulging in
Musturbation. Mizfit tried to tell me!
I put the intention out there in the universe that I want to be an early riser, I want to get organized, I want to feel confident and worry free when it comes to school, I want to manage my time more etc. and Monday I came across this websitewhich is filled with invaluable information on basically everything I need to know and practice to accomplish these skills. His writing really clicks with the way I think and I am loving reading about someone else that is on a constant quest to self improve. I feel very lonely sometimes because others see me as weird for striving to do more and be better. I think maybe that is why I'm attracted to weight loss and fitness blogs-that element is present.
I've started a detailed log related to my habits for this week-I may not keep it up but it's provided insight already for me and it's only Tuesday.
Today's exercise: an hr of Wii fit, mainly the strength portion(bodyweight exercises) and some cardio.
PS Also considering being vegetarian again, this time for life. Must ponder.

I'm crying a bit watching the Olympics-they've been covering a woman and her son's story from Uzbekistan. She now represents Germany because he was diagnosed with leukemia and she had to find healthcare for him. He's in remission and she is absolutely incredible in gymnastics despite being much older than the average gymnast. Beautiful story-just felt like talking about it and I'm alone about to go to bed. Big things are afoot for me.