Good Job

We went out to eat yesterday and I stayed focused. (!) Grumpy grinch was in the house, I bit my husband's head off for suggesting we go out to eat after I told him I was really working towards stopping the yo-yo and getting this weight I regained off and it sort of set the tone. He does so many nice things for me but he also is so oblivious sometimes and while I have endless patience for our son, not so much for him. This is something I am changing, it wasn't always this way and it is noticeably less when I am not completely overloaded mentally.
So, I said okay we will do whatever you want though I did ixnay the mex place he wanted to take us and we went to a place called Houlihan's. We've only gone one time but I would go back in a heartbeat and I recommend it if you have one in your area. They kindly had items starred on the menu that were lower calorie and so we ordered an appetizer that was starred (calamari) and my entree was the Tandoori Chicken wrap with african spiced fruit on the side. It was very good and I looked up the nutrition info on their site when we finally got home and the meal was 450 calories-I only ate 3/4 of one tortilla and unrolled the rest of it so I know that knocked off about 100 calories (which I replaced with the calamari) and if I would have stopped there it would have been perfect. I ate two bites of my son's "itty bitty" burgers and OH MY was it delicious and I wanted to eat his whole plate. I should have left it alone, but still not much damage done since I barely ate yesterday by accident. Then they brought vanilla ice cream out that came with his meal and maybe it has been a really long time since I ate regular ice cream but one little teaspoon of it was the sweetest, creamiest...wow hot damn it was good. That is all I had though and it could have been blue bell for all I know. They make everything from scratch at the place and you could really tell. I also had a bite of Husband's burger which had Tillamook cheddar cheese and two strips of bacon. Again, the bun was incredible and the rest of it...ay ya ya. The cheese is aged nine months. If I get a crazy burger craving someday when I can splurge a bit more then I know where we are going! After looking at the nutrition info again for a minute I can see a LOT of options for me here, this makes me happy though that does not mean we will be going out to eat often again. I originally typed "out to eat a ton again", fitting.
So I'm up to 159.2 this morning, so .6 of a pound after going out to eat (with the resulting increased sodium load.) I am proud of myself! Also we went out to Cabela's in Ft. Worth (huge hunting/fishing/camping store) and the guys got cookies for a snack and I just walked around with my iced green tea in a bottle that I brought a long. That is not THAT unusual for me but I usually would have had "just one bite". Typing this out helps me to see that my "just one bites" added about 150-200 calories to my total yesterday. Yikes! Something to work on.
A workout is in order today and I'm going to make "Falafel Stuffed Pitas" and "Braised Pork Tenderloin with leeks" today.
More than likely we'll take my mom out for lunch for her birthday too and I have renewed confidence that I won't let my compulsions get the best of me.

Update Damnit

I have opened this white box so many times to type something and then just closed it out, shaking my head. I feel like I need to do something greater than just tip tapping my daily minutia here and so I put it off and then I end up silent.
I've worked out once this week but have gotten close to the 10,000 steps goal several days while on rotation and have eschewed the elevator in favor of the stairs, etc. Consequently most days I've come close to my calories burned goal of 2300 for the day and the last two days I've been tracking my food again. Like always this works and the scale number is creeping downward again over the same ground I go back and forth over.
My son is home sick and I am feeling really run down but trying to ignore it and think positively, I want to get my third workout of week 3 done (6 week workout program). It is taking me closer to 4 weeks to complete 3 weeks but I am still plugging away and hopeful to get a more regular routine going with some downtime I have coming soon.
See, this is as boring as I thought it would be, I am even zoning out.

Slacker

In an effort to disallow any more time to pass me by without posting you shall now get a hodge podge of mental detrius for your enjoyment. *cough. The things I intended to do today sort of either fell by the wayside, like so many solitary hitchhiking shoes, or were reimagined, a cosmic "Do This, Not That" editorial if you will.

Here it is bullet style:

• back to the gym-did not happen. Aha! Slacker! No, I ended up doing a thirty minute kettlebell workout in the warmth of my very own living room. Part of gymming today was our son getting to play in their playroom which he considers a treat. Due to toddler noncompliance with our fascist regime (you know, going to bed and not getting up a million times) I had to revoke this privledge as well as the movie viewing outing that had been proposed the night before. A workout happened to be high on my list of priorities so when he sacked out for naptime I fired up the kettlebell dvd and grabbed Big Blue (the 20 lb 'bell). I did the first two circuits instead of pushing for all three, knowing that yes I could get through it, but it would zap me the rest of the day and I had big plans. A note on kettlebell workouts: I've been doing a modified version of various kettlebell moves with the dumbbells at the gym and yes, speaking from experience now, it is drastically different. I actually prefer the dumbbells now, something I never thought I would say when I started out learning the kettlebell workouts. I won't abandon the real deal entirely by any means and hope to get heavier cannonballs o' fun for Christmas, but I feel much more engaged when I use the dumbbells for the same motions at the gym. Several things play into that: I can use much heavier weights using dumbbells and seem to be able to gauge progress more. I really get a badass workout in a shorter time period, using the kettlebells ends up being a bit more about cardiac performance and less of a strength building experience. Don't mistake me, I did make gains and rather quickly with kettlebells, but it seems to be maybe the movements rather than the hunks of iron themselves. Before my recent hiatus that I am now having to recover from strength-wise, I was up to weights previously unknown to me. I'm digressing and becoming less coherent here, I'll just write an entire post about that bit of business. I also jam out to my own tunes when hitting the gym and when following the dvd kettlebell workout I like to hear the verbal cues and my attempt at playing music over that did not work out well. My vim and vigor vanish. I just prefer to lift heavy for a shorter amount of time and then subsequently have a nice all over drained feeling, shaking limbs etc. rather than repeating many, many reps in order to feel exhausted but not max out my potential.
• The Persimmon Thing-I bought a persimmon just for the hell of it, I almost didn't when I copped a look at the price for just one but it seemed strange that I spotted it so suddenly and it occured to me, I hadn't a clue what one does with a persimmon. It is squatting next to our clementines and honeycrisps being very mysterious. After finally taking the time to hit up Dr. Google for the answer I see you can eat it raw but that if it is not ripe enough, it might form a bezoar! I thought bezoars were somewhat of a scary dietetics myth, used to frighten young interns. sort of, I mean I know they exist but you just don't run into them I may just wait until the damned thing is almost rotten to try it now. Bezoars! ack.
• Posting pictures-this one will have to wait for now.
• Additional frivolous things blog-this is also just waiting for pictures and such, it will be the address http://errysue.blogspot.com/ , titled Brocante which means "junk" loosely in French as far as I know. I l ike the idea of just being able to empty the ol' cranium of fluff and nonsense. What will be posted? Pictures of moi, my family probably, fashion related things I like (meaning what I want or wear not actually following fashion which could not bore me more most of the time), crafty things, projects, just whatever takes my fancy.
• professional paper-about halfway written, I had to take a break to get this important update tip tapped out, right?

I really wish I had a cool mark the days off graphic thing going like Marla, we are very similarly minded when it comes to having plans and marking things off, etc. I plan to commit to x number of workouts until Christmas, just need to figure that out, but that's what blogs are for and I've got a date with Winkin', Blinkin' and Nod. Bonus points if anyone realizes that comes from something and I'm not just a few marbles short of a set.

Yikes, what happened to updating in the morning? Completely slipped my mind the next day as I was running behind and feeling harried trying to get everything done before leaving the house. I attended this with some friends to celebrate one of their birthdays early and we had rootbeer on tap, unbelievable bread, salad and pizza at Eno's before I hopped back on the train to head home. As soon as I got home I changed clothes, ordered a pizza for my mom and son to have for dinner and we left again to eat dinner at Uncle Julio's in Ft. Worth before going to see a comedian. I had the roasted vegetable tamales and they were fantastic! Unfortunately I did not have a cheesy greasy coating in my stomach for all the drinking that ensued. I had not intended on drinking quite so much but it got out of hand and we ended up closing the bar down after the show and then going back to a friend's house and carrying on even more. We may have stayed up until about 5 for all I know.
Now, normally if I did something like that these days I'd beat myself up and feel worthless mentally and physically the rest of the day but today I tried to be smart about it. As smart as one can be about what amounts to an episode of binge drinking. I am well aware that the two concepts don't go together. I deduced from various lectures that if you are hungover but can manage to get some activity in your body will process the alochol and toxic by products much more efficienty. Your liver is unique compared to say, your kidneys, in that the blood flow varies on physical activity. You receive more blood flow when moving about than when still and much more when exercising. The liver is an amazing organ, I had no idea all of the many things it does and I can honestly say I am ashamed to have abused it so much and then to go out and do it again just this weekend after having my eyes opened in Friday's lecture. I hereby swear to not engage in that kind of behavior again. I will drink I am sure, but not in ridiculous amounts that make me feel sick and hurt my body. It is just not worth it.
I've done some housework and then we took our son to the park for the first time all together and I played with him and swung on the monkeybars. I even climbed the poles at the end of the swingset just using my upperbody and inching upward. Hard to explain but it was easy to do when I was a kid and super hard as an adult. I plan on doing this kind of stuff more often. Then after dinner we took a family walk and our son and I raced for most of the little over a mile path. I actually got a decent workout in doing all of this and am feeling pretty good now, at least able to focus.
Pictures of what I bought at the fair are to come. I'm sure this is terribly disjointed but that's what I get for punishing my liver. Poor sweet liver. I still have plenty of school work to do but wanted to finish typing this out as I started it hrs ago. I lifted weights (whole body workout) twice last week and did two sessions of HIIT. Not shabby for having a hard week in the hospital.

I had several ideas of what to write about in this space but my brain and heart are occupied with toddler issues. I just can't seem to muster an entry on things that have occurred to me lately to increase your fruits and veggies. I promise to stop writing these little blurby nothings and to actually update in the morning.
Sigh. Blogging is hard.

It's easy to talk about things and even to DO the things you like to yammer about when all is going well, yes? When I'm dishing up great meals every night and working out a minimum of three hrs a week and making great choices I can come here and blather to my heart's content but I tend to let the dust build when things aren't going so great.
Nothing Earth shattering over here, I'm just a bit under the weather and contending with impending woman stuff (hence considering installing a salt block to just go ahead and lick off of opposed to the salt heavy food I've been ingesting and some mild depressive feelings)and so things are not perfect in Perfect Food Land. How long are they usually anyway? Maybe a week if I'm lucky-that is called life. Today I wanted badly to get a fast food burger meal-I left work at the hospital early because I felt so bad physically and kept thinking of that but was good enough to myself to realize I just wanted to feel better and greasy salt laden food would not accomplish that end, just a different kind of END (as in the kind preceded by REAR).
We're still eating fruits and veggies and whole grains and lean meats and lite dairy as always-I just don't feel all Prancy Princess about it because I feel crappy.
That's my point. Hah, took me long enough.

The Vegetable Vendetta is going well, or maybe I should call it the Valient Veggies to be more positive. We've been branching out as a family, me in the fact that I am making SURE that it happens everynight instead of plugging away for a bit and then falling back on baked french fries or something when the weekend hits. I admit tonight the Menfolk had cajun takeout (crawfish etouffe and popcorn shrimp) but instead of fries the little one had a fruit cup. I opted out of takeout and ate food we already had here instead of continuing to participate in the lunacy that is spending over a hundred dollars at the store and then purchasing crapfood that VERY NIGHT. My dinner for the record was super tasty: Simply Potatoes southwest hashbrowns, one egglands best brown egg fried with a touch of Pam nonstick spray, Dancing Iguana guacamole and Daisy lite sour cream. Delicious. After awhile I wanted something else and in lieu of a traditional dessert kinda deal I had 1/6 of a pumpkin flax kashi crunch bar and a glass of nonfat Horizon organic milk.
No this is not turning into a tedious detail of food equivalent to a fourth grade "My Summer Vacation" report. I love food and will probably talk about it more...and now ends me explaining myself on my own blog.
Last night I had John Reid (our son) help me beat the eggs for scrambled style eggies and he didn't hesitate one bit when it was time to eat and asked for seconds! Eggs have been one of the only foods he's mistrusted so that was a major score for ol' Mamacita. Next time I go to the store I think I'll try and take him along and have him pick out things-perhaps I'll make a special produce only trip for that purpose so his attention span doesn't fizzle out.

I turned down cajun food I generally love b/c I knew it would make me feel bad (high sodium mainly being the culprit) and I am being smarter with our food budget. I'm including fruits and vegetables in every dinner and snack. I'm trying to focus more on involving my little love in the food--->table process and my Husband is even trying all the new things I dish out.
Oh yeah, I purchased small containers of apricot barley salad and greek vegetable salad from the deli and had a few bites of each at lunch-what a treat! I must find out how to make that barley salad especially. This kept me from feeling deprived after Husband was hankering for fast food at lunch time and I rejected the idea (for myself). For what it's worth he also abstained but I don't think he wanted to, he just had surgery on his shoulder and he's laid up right now and completely inactive. For some reason he is also wanting to have the worst eating habits after months of improvement in that area. Maybe self comfort? Whatever, I am not the food police, I just hate to see him backtrack. Considering that's what I've done for going on a year (until now)I sure won't be pointing fingers.
My eyes hurt, I got up super early to be part of a big research study. That sounds cooler than it was but I WILL get to say I was part of it when the results come in someday.
'night.

Following along the same lines as yesterday's post, let me share our menu today and some random ideas that came to me while cooking dinner.
When I picked up my son today from preschool/daycare he announced with a huge grin, "I want donuts! I want to see Daddy!" Apparetly the two d's go together and so we've already had a talk (Husband and I) about no more donuts on the way to school. Does that seem harsh? I don't think so, considering he wailed about the donuts almost the entire trip home and apparently they had crossed the line from treat to almost expected item. Not cool. I've been talking to him about "sometimes foods" which I think is a great concept. I know a lot of people got up in arms over cookie monster quitting the cookie binges and saying cookies are sometimes foods but I think it's a good lesson to learn and it's not as if they've been proclaimed BAD FOODS or something ridiculous. The fact of the matter is today's children are largely inactive and treats of every shape and size are available. I'm pretty sure the norm of yester year was not 24 hr access with no holds barred. When I was growing up (not that long ago) we just did not have the financial resources to eat junk (chips, soda, desserts, etc). My mom had rules if we did get to have these things, 1 soda a day if that, only eat chips with a sandwich, etc. Back to my original point...
So donuts are not ruled out for eternity, they are just not an on the way to school option. This morning Husband came in to our bathroom where I was getting ready to head to the hospital and said he needed to get to work early and our Son was just not cooperating this morning to have time for a sit down breakfast and he'd just have to go through the drive-thru donuts place he guessed. I quickly flipped through my mental catalog of what food we have and suggested a dark choc and cherry Kashi cereal bar instead. Not my ultimate choice but a damned sight better than donuts.
Our snack today was hummus with carrot strips, grapes, and red. fat string cheese. He yummed it all up, in fact it only took us two days between the two of us to finish off the hummus and half of the bag of carrot strips. Yesterday he dipped them in 2% cottage cheese. This leads me to something that occurred while cooking dinner. Kids like interesting shapes or colors a lot of the time, at least mine does. Carrot sticks were okaaaay but the strips with ridges like a potato chip are a hit. The dark purple almost black grapes were requested specifically.
Something else: he likes to dip things. I can almost always get him to eat something if it has a dip, something he inherited from his mama more than likely.
Dinner tonight: roasted squash, spaghetti and meat sauce made with whole wheat linguini, 99% lean ground turkey and 93% lean turkey sausage links.
To make the squash: I just chopped two yellow squash into round sections, heated the oven to 425 degrees and drizzled olive oil ad worchestire sauce over the squash while the oven heated. A few shakes of coarse ground sea salt and that's all it took-20 minutes and you have gorgeous carmelized on the bottom squash that I've had to fight myself to not devour before we sit down to dinner.
I'm focusing on at least one veggie at dinner for each night and fruit if we want a dessert. Progression, baby steps, and all of that.
Dinner time!

Yowza! I didn't mean to disappear for so long, starting my clinical rotation this semester at our county hospital knocked my socks off and not in a good way. Today was the start of my second official week on rotation and it's going alright. I feel like I'm not as smooth and effortless as I would like to be but I think that has a lot to do with the dietitan following with me and making me feel nervous. Not her fault, I just trip over myself with her for some reason. Onward.
Thinking about how to encourage and grow good eating habits in our children-I am renewing my efforts to feed my family better, stress and fatigue got the better of me lately and I realized what was happening and am taking steps to correct it before it becomes ingrained. Our son loves healthy nutritious foods as long as he is not offered foods of minimal nutritional worth too often. He always goes back to eating good things so I believe he genuinely likes fruits and veggies, milk, yogurt, hummus, cottage cheese, pita chips, plain cheerios etc. Today when we arrived home he asked for strawberries and cereal but settle for an apple, carrot strips and cottage cheese to dip instead.
What I have found that works for us:
1)I do not offer him a different meal than what I've prepared for us.
2)I model good eating habits myself without pressuring him and he usually can hardly wait to do what I am doing and to eat what I am eating.
3)I do not enforce the "clean your plate" mantra of yesteryear, I believe that wrecks inborn healthy eating patterns, making an intuitive process based on external cues instead.
4)I try to never rush him and am working with him on slowing down a bit to really taste what he's eating.
5)I let him help pick out what we are having a good bit of the time and I let him help me bring groceries in, stir things, etc.
6)I plan to have him help me pick out produce at the store, etc. soon. I believe having children (or other adults for that matter) involved in the process of preparing the food, procuring it, etc. encourages better choices. My ultimate ideal would be to have our own garden that we could all work on together and then enjoy beautiful tastiness born from our own labor.

What works for us may not work for others, just some thoughts on the matter. Working in an acute care setting forces your eyes wide open whether you like it or not. Invest in your families-time, love, wisdom.

So Day 2 of no caffeine or alcohol is going well.

But let me backtrack a bit.
Thank you all for your kind comments regarding my grandmother, she is doing as well as can be expected but...it is just not a good situation and it is not going to be a good situation. Kada, I hope your Nan improves as well, so sorry to hear she is having a hard time.
I haven't posted anything because our son came down with a fever Tuesday night and then by Wednesday noon it was almost 103 and I started wigging out. I had it in my mind somehow that his brain would boil if he got any hotter (not sure where I heard that) and tylenol was not bringing it down. I put him in a lukewarm bath and brought it down about a degree and the doc called back in and we got him in at 4:30 that day, our doc's office rocks on the sick child appts. The old one was terrible. By that point I had already called my husband crying (I got less than 5 hrs of sleep and was so worried, not a good combination) and he came home from work and took him to the doctor. After I had already called him I calmed down and could have done everything myself but it was nice to be rescued I have to admit.

I have done an hr of power yoga twice this week and it felt great and it amazed me AS ALWAYS (when will I learn) how sore it makes me when I don't practice for awhile and how great it makes me feel. I am trying a sort of break from alcohol and caffeine for awhile, not sure how long really as we go on vacation soon and I am already getting pressured about drinking-maybe I will just tell them no, what a novel idea. The alcohol is not a problem but boy howdy I sure am wanting coffee today, it is creepy how often I have had these little whispers to just go make a cup and how it is silly to go without it. That is obviously a problem. What do I hope to gain from this? Hopefully better sleep and a more alert state with more energy.

Another note of weirdness: Yesterday I felt huge, just unwieldy and gross, hard to explain. Apparently I was bloated up about 2 inches through my midsection. I swear my body is so strange, even my new bigger clothes were not fitting and today they are loose. Bizarre.

After posting Friday and then going in to start yoga in our bedroom I received the news that my grandmother was taken to the hosptial and my mother had jumped in the car and sped up there that morning. All I knew is she would not wake up and her boyfriend was scared and called my mom to ask what to do. I found out later initial impressions were CHF (congestive heart failure). My mind immediately raced through what would happen as I am quite familiar with CHF, most of my patients have it in the hospitals. The fluid must be managed through diet, some type of drug therapy, and sometimes a fluid restriction. My mom tells me, "You were right, they put her on a 2 gm sodium diet" and for a brief instant I felt angry but I knew that had no place in the situation. Why the hell am I going through all of this heart ache and stress to get this degree if my own family does not believe I know what I am talking about? Same thing when she was going through chemo and needed to restrict sodium and numerous other people close to me-no one listens and no one seems to credit me with being the expert, which despite my seemingly constant need to down play my achievements, I am. Like I said, brief instant, mainly I was just overwrought about my grandma, the loveliest soul I've ever met and a big influence on my life.
My mom stayed up there over night and came home at noon Saturday-they believe it was secondary to the meds she was on (something else I suggested) and not actually her heart, in other words not a primary case so something that can be treated a lot easier. Very relieved.
Ate like crap all weekend and then yesterday ate fairly well and did an hr of yoga again so I am sore all over today. Diet mentality was taking hold again so I surrender and know that I have to make IE work for me, I have no other choice. My other choices are compulsive over eating or dieting, both of which drive me nuts. Oddly enough they both go hand in hand as well.
Cooked a meatless dish for dinner last night and Husband ate it with no complaint and said it was good. It is almost vegan except for the feta cheese but I bet you could sub out some nice chopped olives for the cheese to retain the briney salty flavor. I'll post it later when I feel better, right now I have a pounding headache and just want a cup of coffee and the couch. Hate feeling like a slug, I got so much accomplished yesterday. Hurumph.

Are we there yet?

I've eaten well for two days (yesterday was sort of a miss) and worked out a bit here and there so why am I not magically fitting back in to my clothes yet? This is what my silly brain seems to think will happen. Um, no, it took about two months to grow OUT of the clothes so I don't think that will be fixed in a few days. Our beach vacation that has been planned for practically a year is coming up in 3 weeks and I am more flabby and unable to fit into anything than I have been since losing the baby weight two yrs ago. Argh.
BUT! I am getting nicely visible back muscles, shoulders and arms are looking good and my legs feel strong again. Nevermind the giant ugly bruise by right knee caused by a loaded barbell swinging down onto it off the bench. I am sure it will still be there, my bruise and me hanging out on the sand with a Modelo in hand.
On my calendar today is some form of cardio or alternative exercise like yoga but I have yet to do anything but sit on the computer and it is getting hotter by the minute. Like M@rla our temps are consistently around 100 degrees F here and if I don't get out there before ten it is miserable.
I did lift Wed. morning and then rode my bike around the block. That was followed by moving furniture around my mom's new apt and then swimming at her friend's pool. It had a diving board and I dove over and over-haven't done that in at least ten yrs and wasn't sure I would remember how. We had great fun and it was way better than standing around getting waterlogged. I made potato salad yesterday but our mayo looked sketchy (rarely eat it) so I threw in lite sour cream instead of it tastes pretty good though a little....sour creamy, haha!
Have venison steaks marinated in the fridge, may pick up some corn to grill as well and serve that with the potato salad. FIL is coming to stay the weekend and Husband seems to want to cook for him though I would rather get take out then worry with someone else's opinion. I do not feel guilty over that, heh.

Back but I've just been too exhausted and busy to get online much. I am usually bored surfing the net wondering why no one understands I am the center of the universe and they should update for my amusement. Lately I have not even had enough time to make it through my regular reads, let alone hit Whingey Level Orange, Danger Danger.
Anyway, FIL is doing well/not doing well depending on what angle you examine the situation from-he has been finally moved to a private room out of ICU I THINK, though that could be misinformation as they tried to move him before but he had a stroke that morning that made him go back to ICU. He had four bypasses and it was a beating heart surgery, meaning no bypass machine was used which as a science nerd I find absolutely fascinating. Only a very quick, very skilled surgeon can pull that off and that part of the ordeal went very well. They couldn't just go in and clean out the blockage because diabetes had thinned out the connecting portions of his arteries, they were screwed every which way to Sunday so had to be chunked in the bin basically. His leg is hurting something awful where they took out the vessels used for the bypasses.
I am about to leave to get a sonogram done, abnormal bleeding and pain has been plagueing me since last Tuesday and my doc wants to find out what is going on inside. My mother had a full hysterectomy at roughly one year older than I am now because she had cysts that did not dissolve which turned cancerous. I am praying this is not what is going on right this minute as I sit here and type.
I've experienced some wonderful, tasty healthy food lately and discovered some great restaurants. Yesterday I had a meal by myself in a French place and it was absolutely incredible. I can see why they say French women don't get fat, the food is so damn good it's a crime to choke it down like I do burgers and fries. I took forever to eat my soup and salad and crusty bread and felt super satisfied when I was done. I also spent a lot of moola at Target and got tons of great tops, I think I left feeling so happy because I avoided trying on pants.
So, drinking water to have a full bladder, about to go get a rude test done and I only hope nothing terrible is wrong, but I don't have the best feeling at this point. I'm trying to catch up on blogs as I can, hope all is well.

My father-in-law went in for his angiogram this morning and it was as far from good as it gets. They're doing a full bypass on him immediately and we are headed that way in the morning. His blood force (push of blood through the chambers) dropped from an already bad 35% of 60 down to 20% and his arteries are obstructed big time. One is pinched and the other may not even be operable.
People, this man was thought to be in relatively good health, but he had diabetes unknown to any of us that has screwed up his heart in a big way and I'm terrified I'm going to lose someone very special to me.
We only get one body, let's hope they can repair his. I guess I'll be doing a ton of walking since I'll be out of my element. I'm an emotional passionate person and my husband and his whole family are very stoic and detached, pray for me or send good thoughts, whatever your preference.