Thursday, August 30, 2007

I spoke too soon. Classes today sucked ass and the teacher did not like me and chose to show this by disagreeing with anything I said, things I know are fact, and it was extremely disheartening. Anything that could go wrong did today, and I am just thankful that bedtime is drawing nigh and tomorrow is a new day.
I do not have lunch or snacks packed for tomorrow. I do not have an outfit picked out either, but I DO think I am relatively prepared for class, except for that whole pesky required reading thing.

Today just SUCKED. I can't express that enough. Also? No exercise and then went out to dinner to not face cooking and dinner sucked, despite having tasted what I ordered last time when Husband ordered it. His was awesome last time, tonight? Sucked. Meh.

Did not record food in spark people, better do that, hate to break my streak because I'm being pissy. After that? Off to bed.

PS My iPod died. I think I mentioned that, but that added to the cumulative suckage.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Yesterday I tried to go to my old gym and workout after class ended a bit early and circled around and around only to see people parking on the grass illegally and I got mad and left. Thwarted! Rats!
Got home and felt crummy so it might have been for the best that I was unable to go hit the gym but it sure did piss me off. That's OK, I got in a workout today in between classes, it was a tight fit schedule wise but I have to make this happen or I will go crazy without it. Did my 30 min routine I mentioned before, ten minutes on three diff machines and I had a friend from class working out with me so that was very cool. Both our iPods died! And then another girl in biochem had hers die today too. Weird, maybe they were in a cult and drank the Kool-aid today.
UGH, the choc flavored myoplex light shakes are pretty tasty but I just cracked open a french vanilla and it is grodey. I prefer them half frozen anyway, for some reason it also sends satiety better for me in addition to tasting better.
The huge amount of puffiness I had put on, making me go up about a size in fact, seems to have mainly left the building. Barring today of course! I went to put my jeans on and it would have been ridiculous to even button them so I wore some others that usually sag and look weird shortly after donning them, and yet I am reluctant to get rid of them. I got them at Ann Taylor and really like them when I first pull them on, bah. Sometimes sales racks bite you on the ass. Well they fit today with all the extra puff I had going on, and then got really huge in the afternoon along with the top I wore. Very weird, it's like I deflated after working out and I stayed hydrated so don't spank me!
Tracking food is benefiting me in class as we are learning the exchange system and are expected to also learn portion sizes, etc. I already know this crap from being an old hand at weight loss, ha! Who would have thought the stuff most of us bloggers talk about on a daily basis would be what I am about to take an exam least to a pretty large extent. I used to joke that I could eyeball the calorie count of a plate of food at 100 paces. I probably could, and now that will aide me. I'll take anything I can get since I have multiple tests all at once and biochem is a complete fucking mystery to me. The concepts are not, but the nitty gritties are, and it doesn't help to have a very knowledgeable teacher that also has no desire to "dumb it down" for the rest of us common folk.
M@rla, you better keep checking in, no telling when I decide to resurface off and on, haha! PS Person to person: Congrats on kicking the measurement pants' ass!

Monday, August 27, 2007

I climbed up the attic ladder and peered around. There were my 2.5, 5, and 10 lb plates stacked at the top of said ladder, no barbell in sight, and at first I skipped over the dumbbell and case that had all the collars and more weights inside. After many trips up and down, while wearing flip flops (I'm a genius!), I retrieved them all and then grabbed a flashlight. There was the barbell and then I spied the rest of it along with our racquetball rackets and I brought them all down. Weight bench was still on the back patio and Husband had balked about bringing it back to the garage before we get all the storage organization stuff setup. I worked out in our empty garage with the new shiny floor and had to improvise a bit, but I got it done. How did it feel? Abso-freaking-lutely fantastic.
Wow, once again I have lost strength and have to rebuild practically from the bottom. Not quite that low, I think I could arm wrestle an Amoeba at least, but pretty puny. No matter, I won't be thrown off track again, I can promise you that. I usually do flyes for my chest with the attachment on my bench, it just holds the weight plates and I use my own power to move it, and I like that lovely invention. However, weight bench was on the patio so I did negative push-ups, 2 x 10. This worked very well as you can imagine, I only wish I could do regular pushups like I had gotten to at one point. I will get there again and be able to knock out a ton, that is a goal I have set. Also: I will be able to do a set of real live pull-ups at some point, ever since the stupid ass Pres. fitness award thingie in elementary school that particular exercise has haunted me, I hated being humiliated by the gym teacher because I couldn't even do the hanging alternative. Did anyone ever WORK with me to get me to where I could? No. I just got a mark and a disapproving face and the jeering of my classmates. No one ever tried to help me improve on any of that stuff and I dreaded it each and every year. It never even occurred to my young mind that I could ask for help or try on my own, I just thought I sucked. The End. I wonder why I never veered towards the athletic side of school. It's a mystery.
So, push-ups, pull-ups and I want to compete in races. The Hotter than Hell bike ride just went by this last weekend and one of my instructors did the 100k ride-I really admire that. I can't say I'll be picking that one but something would be nice.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Had a cheat meal last night, but it was premeditated and tasty. I wish I would have planned for it more, earlier in the day, but all in all it was not bad. I did not get to lift yesterday but I was very active and I seem to be getting an ear infection, at least it hurt all day when I teared up or tried to chew anything. I feel pretty good today so even if I have to go up in the attic and get my weights down I plan on lifting some heavy things for the sole purpose of building muscles.
On track and feeling good, good morning all and may you all feel the same.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Just made my grocery list out and that is about the most exciting thing I have planned for the day. I desperately need to work on school related things but that is going to be difficult, I've wasted Toddler Naptime showering and making out said list and I'm afraid he'll awake before I get anything else done. The house is a wreck as per usual lately and it makes me feel crazy and yet I have no energy to clean it really. I am making headway cleaning here and there and will get some more done today but what I really want is a magic fairy to come down and get me all set up with a clean work space and lots of office supplies. I'll let you know when that happens.
I'm working towards a streak of eating 5-6 mini meals again BFL style and recording my food in sparkpeople again. It's all well and good to have tantrums that last for 6 months at a time in which I decide it's not faaaaaaiiiirrr to have to record what I eat etc. and I am able to see progress without doing so, however it is not consistent and it disappears. I am now taking off weight I put on in the last few weeks and it is irritating to have to regain ground you already fought and planted a flag upon. I am so extremely busy that it is not that hard to not overeat as opposed to when I have access to the fridge all day and then want to go out to eat all weekend to relieve the boredom or monotony. None of that going on now, I am busier than I think I ever have been and am constantly learning and on the go.
I seem to have lost a great deal of my muscle, and it is pissing me off yet I am on Singe Mama duty today (Husband is playing softball all weekend, national tournament) and I can't go to the gym like I had looked forward to all week. My weight bench is on the back patio and the barbell, weight plates, and dumb bells are all in the attic. Great place for them right? We redid our garage on my "vacation" (bahahaha, snort-worked my ass off, I did)and my husband decided that is where they would go when cleaning out the garage during prep time. Thanks honey! yes I could get them down but by the time I did that the Boy would be awake and I won't be able to use them. I'm going to figure SOMETHING out damnit, hate feeling flabby. To top it off had to get measured in class this week and I am in the worst shape in a long time. I went on a crazy eating spree for the weeks preceding starting my program, not sure why I did that but it was not smart. Ah well, onward! I've learned lots of nifty things about determining energy needs, maybe I'll share once I stop feeling overwhelmed.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Once again I'm sorry I disappeared. University has started and I say that rather than school because this is hard core, existential balls to the wall crazy scheduling school, not community college anymore. For that matter I already attended another branch of UT's system for a literature degree and it was not nearly as hard as this. But I am loving it.
Today I got my bodyfat measured in class through a fancy pants scale that gave me a little read out. Here are my numbers:

Body type: Athletic
Gender: Female
Age: 26
Height: 5' 6"
weight: 148.8 lbs
BMI: 24
Fat%: 21.5
BMR: 6240 kJ or 1492 kcal
Impedence: 479 and then a weird little horseshoe symbol for the unit on that one, heh.
Fat mass: 32.0 lb
Fat free mass: 116.8 lb
Total body water: 85.4 lb

I also had my tricep skinfold measured and that was a disappointing 26 mm. I felt bad about that but I've let myself go the last month.
Being in this program specifically dealing with all of the things I've self taught and been interested in for the last few years is amazing. It also has me excited again about behavior modification and working the numbers. My BMR above should also have about a 10% addition due to the thermal effect of food (energy burned by actually digesting your food) and then what I earned through physical activity. I purposefully walked about half a mile on the connecting path between different parts of campus and I went up the 14 flights of stairs to class after eating lunch. I also walked up quite a few stairs after purchasing my skinny latte from the 'bucks on site. I'm sure I would have done better if I left that out, but after plugging in the numbers at sparkpeople, I apparently took in around 1250 kcals today by following BFL type eating again. I just made sure I had good portions of carbs and protein every 2-3 hrs for a total of 5-6 mini meals, did not count kcals or points or anything but it turns out I was pretty much dead on. I'm going to allow for error in my little feeding frenzy when we hit the door this evening and not go in there and eat something just because there is room. When I am able to hit the gym again in earnest I will definitely up the intake, no point in starving myself.
So I'm back, I'm monitoring my stats again, but from a clinical point of view and I am loving this learning to be a dietitian thing. Yeah.

PS Thank you for the comments you lovely peoples!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

I would like to update but just typing this is painful. We just texturized our entire two car garage in two days and my grip strength better be improved by all this damnit. And I was worried about getting enough exercise in with Husband home and a longer drive to the gym.
M@rla, thanks for leaving comments, it makes my day. I'll type an actual entry when my hands are not hurting. I have blisters and some serious soreness.

Friday, August 10, 2007

I need to set some goals, I'm maintaining just fine and floating along fairly effortlessly. I can say that because I can practically go on auto pilot with nutrition and eat very well, it's ingrained at this point. Not to say I don't have my moments but I tend to indulge the really strong desires and then just move on, and that is working great for me. However, my fitness regimen has gotten totally off kilter with the stress of my car being wrecked and dealing with the bs that has gone along with that, it is currently back at the body shop. I got it back and then noticed yesterday that they had washed it with something that left tiny surface scratches all over the damn thing and there were also some bad scratches on the driver side door area. I called and of course was basically told I was lying and had to talk to the manager who told me to bring it in for him to look it over. I hung up and burst into tears, I hate ugly confrontation and having to assert myself. I am fully capable of doing so and I will when needed but it always leaves me shaken, which the more I think about it I believe is an extremely high adrenaline surge I get. Apparently I get fully revved up to either kick someone's ass or to run away, though running away is unlikely-creaky knees you know.
Anyway, it is being fixed but they also stole my son's dvd player out of the car while they had it too, and this is not a tiny body shop-this is owned by the dealership that I bought my car from and I just never expected this sort of unnecessary hassle.
Been worrying about that and finishing up anatomy II (got an A) and also dealing with other people that I can't seem to get along with while trying to plan stuff for my best friend's wedding. Combined with the painful knots I had going it has been rough and I haven't been able to just head over to the gym after school-things I have had to do instead. Today I get back on track.
There's something about "back to school" time that makes me want to start everything brand new, it seems like summer has flown by without my even noticing it and we are already heading into time for fall. I wonder why I feel like kicking it into gear AFTER bathing suit season.
I need to think of goals and a plan and I'll be back here, with 90% less bitching.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Chris thanks for stopping by, sorry to all that I've been MIA lately. Not a lot of working out going on, just lots of stress and a huge knot in my back again.
The knot was from our couch, it's too soft and when I sit on it a lot (usually with my laptop) and also happen to be stressing at the same time it hurts my back. I haven't sat on it for two days now and no pain so I'm fairly certain that is the cause.
I am exhausted and my final is tomorrow morning at 7:30 am. So many things are going on, I am just not up to posting about it all but I haven't exercised since Saturday morning but I did get that 30 min heart pumping walk in and I also ate exceedingly well all weekend at the in-laws, my kryptonite.
So, still here-reading your pages when I can, currently exhausted.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Thanks Kada! I am very happy about my new friend.

And now, I bemoan my eating habits, or urges may be a better term. It is raining buckets outside, thunder and lightening the whole deal and I want comfort food. The problem is, I'm not sure what is comforting anymore. At one point I would have said pizza or fast food or something heinous like a plate of tater tots with chili and cheese all over them or ramen noodles with a hunk of cheese. Now? No thank you, and yet a salad doesn't exactly scream comfort. Maybe that is all in my head because I was thinking of having a salad on the way home from picking our son up a minute ago. I bought some vegetarian chili yesterday too, maybe I'll have that. Would be better with tater tots though, heh.

No gym today, I also stayed home from school and did next to nothing besides starting the new Harry Potter book. I'm about 200 pages in, didn't crack it open until later in the day, but of course it is good and I want to be reading it right now. That's not exactly good parenting though, and neither is typing this while my little one needs attention.

Bye for now.