Suppose an update is in order since the lovely life is grand blah blah train has left the station. I feel bloated and crappy and have not worked out since the prematurely ended cardio Saturday. Spent a lot of yesterday crying, feeling suicidal and laying on the carpet. I am NOT someone that ever has those thoughts even when the world seems its blackest but random thoughts about it would just pop in my head, very upsetting. Not something that would ever happen, my life rocks 99% of the time, but I think this nerve med is really jacking with my head. I have to drink M0nst3r or I am a zombie and I think it is starting to give me a UTI, but who the hell knows with my screwed up lady parts? Eh?
Wow what a bitter post, hee! Completely contrary to how most people would react to all of this I am looking forward to attempting some cardio when Husband gets home to stay with our son and tomorrow is lifting day. I will not be beaten, but I do have to say that it really sucks that every time I ALLOW myself to feel happy about my appearance or strength, my legs get knocked out from under me and I immediately get sick or bloated or you name it and I feel like a slug again, both in how I look and my energy level. I feel like I dare not breathe a word of pride about it or I am doomed. I also have the irrational thought that I can bust my ass and eat well and nothing will happen for me unlike other people. There is some validity to that thought since as I mentioned I have stayed in mid to high 20s bf percentages for several years now except for during/immediately post pregnancy. Consistency is the key I think, hell I don't know at this point. I am pretty damn consistent.
/end pity party