Monday, January 15, 2007

Today is one of those days when it all feels like such hard going. My calories are going to be high because I have to go out to eat for dinner even though I would rather not and my desire to no longer care about that is flopping about on the floor, gasping for air. No workout this morning despite laying out my mat and other gear, popping the dvd in the player ahead of time, everything. I just could not get up this morning and have sat on the couch all day being a sad sap. The truth of the matter is, back to school Wednesday, for more chemistry that I am terrified of because last semester was so fricking horrible and my little guy starts Mother's Day out for the first time on that same day. I want to cry.
My stomach is still mysteriously fairly flat despite the slackened hold on the reins and yet I am a paranoid mess that is sure I will put all the weight back on and more. I have never felt so much fear about this even though I know I need to let go and just be NICE TO MYSELF. Why is is so hard, I'm a likeable sort.

No comments: