Friday, June 15, 2007

Wow! Thank you so much for the beyond nice comments on my picture. That is something else I've been thinking about, I think most women (at least those that I know) are not happy with photographs of themselves, but do we really put any effort into trying to change that? What I mean is I think if you take different shots of your self, especially your face, you can figure out what angles. etc. look best but I for one have always felt too self conscious to do so. It's that fear I've mentioned before of seeming to be full of myself or like I am "bragging", the same fear that keeps me from truly being proud of all the things I've accomplished. Truth is others may think just that, that I'm a braggert, etc. if I take ownership of things that I SHOULD be proud of or that I should at least acknowledge, but that doesn't matter. What does matter is I am kinder to myself, that I am not afraid of being strong or "too much" sometimes, because in reality that is who I am and the greater crime is how I tend to "dumb down" in so many aspects to be accepted. I have punished myself needlessly trying for this physical ideal, thinking then I could be fearlessly outspoken on fitness/nutritional topics for example. People look at me as if I must be talking out of my ass because I'm not a size 2 or they see me eating cheese fries and drinking beer. I have enough self imposed perfectionism and I don't need anyone else's, thank you. I see some pictures of myself and like them, but more often I hate the face I am making or the angle or you name it and I think if I will quit being afraid of so-called self absorption, and take steps to make friends with the camera, then more times than not I can be happy with what I see. Models spend years perfecting posing, etc. and yet the average woman thinks something is wrong with her if the image in the photograph isn't a great one.
Our outsides are just a facet of who we are, but it doesn't necessarily have to mean we are vapid or silly for learning to put our best foot forward.
I feel like I'm not communicating properly but I don't think I'll hit the backspace and erase it all.
Once again, your comments really made my day and made me look at myself in a different perspective, I plan on posting more pictures of myself, my family and the people and places I live with/around while I explore who I am further.


M@rla said...

My DH has always been a photographer, and he some gorgeous glamor-type photos of me from all the way back in high school up to now. So I learned early how much is in the pose, the makeup, the lighting, etc., just getting every detail right. Even with the most beautiful model on the planet, the photographer doesn't just take one snap and be done with it: they take HUNDREDS of shots to get one photo that looks good.

What the hell... maybe you should have some glamor shots done. I highly recommend black-and-white, it's very dramatic.

Dynamo360 said...

Reading what you have to say I am so curious about your story... like where it is you come from, family background and all that. So much of it resonates with me I wonder of we share some of that stuff...