I made my first main dish meal from the Low GI cookbook my sister-in-law gave us and we both loved it! I modified it a bit to suit our tastes and when we ate it I thought it was just okay but I had not let it sit long enough for the rice to soak up the broth. Here are the details:

2 teaspoons canola oil
2 stalks celery, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 onion, chopped
1 lb boneless, skinless chicken, cut into 1/2 inch cubes
2 teaspoons dried thyme
2 teaspoons dried oregano
1 teaspoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional)
2 cups chicken broth (low fat low sodium)
2 green bell peppers, steamed seeded and diced
1 can (28 oz) stewed tomatoes
1 can (15 oz) kidney beans, drained and rinsed
3/4 cup brown rice
1 bay leaf
1/4 cup chopped flat-leaf parsley

1. Heat the oil in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add the celery, garlic, and onion and cook until the onion has softened, about 5 minutes. Add the chicken, thyme, oregano, chili powder, and the cayenne, if using, and cook, stirring, for 5 minutes.
2. Add the broth, bell peppers, tomatoes, beans, rice, and bay leaf and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to low, cover, and simmer, stirring occasionally, for abotu 35 minutes, or until the rice is tender. Let the dish stand for 5 minutes. Remove the bay leaf and discard. Stir in the parsley before serving.


Jason does not like celery or beans so I left both out, and we did not have regular brown rice but we did have the instant version. I threw in the rice the last 12 minutes and it was just right. Also, I don't care for green bell peppers so we used a red and a yellow. Delicious! When I went back to get a second bowl a while later it was so much better because it had thickened up a lot. This is a green light recipe which as you can imagine means GO (weight loss, no worries, etc)

Recipe from "Living the g.i. Diet" by Rick Gallop, page 217

When I slack off posting in this space I tend to be floating along feeling lost regarding life in general. The rigors of being a student/mother/wife/relative/friend/etc. have officially overwhelmed me as of late. Husband's grandfather is having medical problems again after having a quadruple bypass last year and coming through amazingly well. He fell down at the cardio center's gym Wednesday and then they found fluid in his chest and something looks odd with the lymph nodes. The doctors seem to think it is not going to be something horrible but there is still tension in the background for me because I love him like he is my grandfather.
A confession: I had drifted back to mostly thinking like I did before my big ephiphany and of course it screwed with my mind. I am slowly, persistently retraining my brain again to stop counting and ticking and obsessing and to just focus on eating nutritious foods, being mindful of my hunger/satiety cues, and exercising regularly. The exercise is not a problem, it has finally become something that I just consider part of life, and if I periodically can't/don't fit it in my day then that is okay because guess what? I will the next day, or the day after that, and the world will not end. I am not lazy, or worthless, or slipping into a black vortex of sloth if I miss a few days. THIS IS FOR LIFE. God, probably the most oft quoted and concurrently hypocritical statement I see tossed around the 'net. I realize there are people that do want to live their life going through bulking/cutting phases, trying new plans, etc. and that is FINE. I am that way sometimes and that is okay too, and I am not bad if I do that either. For the most part however; I just want to feed my body quality fuel and move it around consistently enough in fun ways to have a kickass body. I have thought quite a bit this week (okay just the last two days) about what I really want out of the physical side of my life and it hit me like a ton of bricks. The physique I admire and can obtain given my physiological makeup is like Angelina Jolie in Lara Croft (though I think she was a bit too thin for me) or Jennifer Garner in Electra or Daredevil. Muscular, lean, badass chick bodies. I honest to God, hand on my heart do not want to look like a SI model, after seeing the pictures I could not believe that is the ideal for the masses, there is so little muscle it reminds me of a young child with breasts and well, that kinda freaks me out. This is my personal opinion and more power to everyone out there that disagrees. What I want for ME is to look tough and strong and well, hot at the same time. When I feel the most powerful is when I lift weights and get my hands dirty or work on a car or dig in the dirt all sweaty and tired. That makes me feel damn good, like I can do anything, and who would not want that each day of their life?
I tried mountain climbers and didn't think it was that bad, I can also do a shitload of jumping jacks now which makes me proud looking back on the gasping red faced past. Disclaimer: I am sure I did not do nearly enough mountain climbers to say for sure if I can handle it or not. Heh
I watched a clip about the workout they put the men through for the movie "300". Holy shit that is the kinda stuff I want to be able to do, pushups on hanging rings and throwing a tire around, lol. She-ra!

I've been extremely out of pocket since oh, around March 9th (which was my birthday, coincidence? no) but thank you for the comments about my birthday weekend, sorry I have been MIA. Two days after getting home from the birthday extravaganza we left town to visit family in Oklahoma City and Tulsa, OK. We returned last night and I've been immediately thrown back into real life and it sucks. Hard. I am exhausted and having a hard time thinking, in fact I have considered bailing on writing this several times already and let's face it: I have not typed that much at this point.
Anyway, no home cooked food was consumed from Wednesday lunch through breakfast this morning and my body is hatin' right about now. Dinner last night made both me and my husband pretty ill and neither one of us has any desire to go out to eat for quite some time. That's one of our favorite things to do so trust me, that was quite a feat. I did lift Tuesday morning, walked Wednesday and Thursday, then used the Stairmaster and my in-laws in Tulsa Friday and Saturday morning with a 30 minute walk outside afterwards Saturday. Saturday night I drank too much beer, and did a shot and then an Irish Car Bomb combined with consuming crappy food. I did eat some damn good food halfway through the night and have vowed to go back to Paddy's (Tulsa, OK) again to properly enjoy it. Smithwick's (pronounced smiddicks) and half a Reuben was an awesome combo.
So I exercised pretty well, but ate cookies and pie and pizza and lots and lots of fries. Oh and beer. I am so ready to feel good again instead of bloated and tired and dealing with seriously uncool digestive issues. I've eaten well today because that is all I feel like doing and am working on unpacking our little family and getting this house in order. Here's to onward and upward!

Thanks for the birthday wishes, I had a wonderful fantasy weekend. My husband earned enough points to last quite a while indeed. It has been a rude awakening returning to the real world but I don't suppose I have much of a choice. Update on my friend: She and the boyfriend are trying to work things out, and while I am happy for her I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him. If he really does treat her properly from here on out then I won’t hold a grudge.
On Friday, my actual birthday, my husband finally told me what he had planned for my weekend. Saturday morning I had to be ready by 8:45 to go spend all day at the Crescent Spa! His cousin (also my friend) went with me and though we didn’t have treatments together it was nice to have her along for the ride. My package was all wine related, first a Cabernet grape scrub, then a red wine anti-cellulite bath, then a wine and honey wrap and finally a Sauvignon massage. It was unbelievable and my skin feels delightful, and now I know that wraps really do tighten your skin though I don’t think it lasts. Still, it’s been very nice to experience that again even if for a little while. Following the spa day we were picked up and taking to the W hotel in downtown, and it is an absolutely incredible place to stay and hang out. I felt like a had stepped into an upscale Ikea catalogue, for instance: the walls downstairs change colors from red to blue and back, the lounge area was way cool with these long chandeliers that made me think of jellyfish and there were just quirky little details everywhere. Our room was the Mega Room which is advertised as Texas sized with really high ceilings and a huge bed. Very hard to describe but the design was ingenious. The W even gave me a birthday present, a massage candle scented with habanera and grapefruit. You actually can use the wax to do a massage-I’ve never seen one like it.
On the 33rd floor is the Ghostbar, probably hands down the coolest nightclub type place I have ever been in, it made me think of what you see clubs being like on tv instead of the cheesy places I’ve been to before. There’s a balcony area outside that is hanging out over thin air and the view of the city was amazing. Standing there I could see lights moving and blinking as far as my vision reached, sort of like looking out over the ocean-a sea of humanity. I’ve realized how much I don’t want to leave here now.
Sunday we walked across the street to the American Airlines center and went up to the platinum club area and had the best brunch buffet I have ever had. The Dallas Stars game started at 2:30 and it was super exciting and worth being there to see. Lots of action, both scoring and fighting and we had some of my favorite friends with us, including my best friend that has never been to a hockey game and is a huge fan. She kept saying, “Kids at Christmas have nothing on me today!”
Really the only downer was my dad was supposed to be at the game with us so I could see him for my birthday. He didn’t show up so we called several times and found out he was feeling really sickly and he said half his face was swollen up and his voice sounded terrible. My poor dad, when he gets better I’m going to ask him to go to a Ranger’s game just the two of us.
I did workout Thursday night and had a great lifting session. I’ve really increased the weight on my squats and I think it was a mental setback before and now I know I can push it harder. I will say it again-free weights training has done the most for my self image and confidence of anything I have tried. I haven’t worked out since then, literally no time to even though I really wanted to try the infinity pool at the hotel. We slept too late and stayed in bed too long to get to use it, but I plan on working out today when the Husband gets home. Eating was fairly on track all weekend and I just didn’t worry about it too much.

Greedy, that's me. I want new posts from everyone to read and yet here I sit not writing anything myself.
The tidal waves of sickness that plagued us for the last few weeks have gone and life is returning back to normal. Well physically that is, my mental state has sort of gone south-basically I think what is bugging me is my best friend is in a lot of pain right now. The guy she thought she would marry is more than likely dumping her tonight and he has left her in limbo all week. At this point I would like to punch his stupid face in, but I digress.
So I started taking Wellbutrin today and I am having some side effects, but I think it is related to the lack of water and food I have had today. Not on purpose, let me assure you. This girl is not one to starve herself, but I went by my mother's before she left for work and right before I left the afore mentioned friend called and sounded terrible. I called her back and even though I had a happy day planned of shoe shopping with my wonderful little boy, I turned the car around and headed straight to her apartment. She said she needed a hug and so I was there. I talked with her about everything and held her while she cried and this is very hard. On a selfish note it really sucks to be dealing with this on my birthday weekend, but unselfishly that is not stopping me from being her support.
For clarficiation I am not taking an anxiety medication because of her problems, it probably sounded that way in the above wording but that is not the case. I have struggled for years now with stress and depression and have yet to find a medication that works for me all the way around-lexapro did a good job but (TMI alert) made me unable to enjoy sex/any stimulation whatsoever. I stopped taking that immediately, ha! But the fact is, without some type of medical help I do not enjoy the wonderful life I have like I should, I am anxious and angry and irritable and then alternately mopey and tearful and full of despair. Not the way I want to live my life and so I am trying again. The side effect seems to be nausea and light headedness but I am already feeling better now that I ate some more and am drinking my third cup of water since we got back home.
I want to lift weights when my Husband gets home but maybe that is not a good idea with how my head feels. It has been a week though tomorrow, and I don't go more than a week without working out my whole body to failure. Working out once a week, using the heaviest weights possible and then resting the whole next day (no exercise planned at all) has done wonders for my body and strength. I have also consistently lifted, even during the sickness, because I know it is once a week and it makes me feel powerful and strong. I am steadily lifting heavier and that is progress I can touch and see and feel, unlike the scale. My scale weight is still heavier than my old consistent weigh ins and yet I look and feel so much better. Happy Birthday to me tomorrow, yay!

A fitness article that is actually useful and doesn't leave me going, "No kidding, duh." This was on my Yahoo homepage and I clicked on it though I was reluctant to read the same stuff I already know. While I did already know this stuff it actually seemed like an article that might be USEFUL to people that don't know these things instead of the usual, "Hey, I have a revelation! Park further from the door and pass on that bread at dinner!" crapola. I have no idea about the vest thingie but will check it out when I get a chance. As of the moment I am mired in Organic Chemistry lab homework that I have no clue how to complete. D'oh!


Your Body Can Burn Fat on Its Own
Posted by Debbie Rocker
on Tue, Feb 27, 2007, 5:43 pm PST
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Wouldn’t you just love it if your body decided to burn fat and calories on its own?

It can:
1. Exercise in short, intense bursts (interval training) for effective fat burning after exercise.
2. Increase the amount of resistance/strength/weight training you do, to build more lean muscle. Muscle is ‘metabolically active’ and burns more calories than other body tissue even when you’re not moving.
And of course, for best results:
3. Chill on the amount of food you are eating.

Technically:
1. Our bodies are built to survive, so when you exercise for long periods of time (often and consistently) your body thinks it needs to hold on to fat for energy. Doing short (12-15 minute), intense exercise sessions builds strength and burns calories, but not fat, so it “feels safe” using fat stores for energy after exercise.
2. Resistance training (using extra weight) helps build lean muscle mass (and strong bones), and muscle burns more calories than fat.
3. If you are obsessing over things like fat grams and not eating a nutritious diet, your body will reserve energy (store fat) to survive.

Realistically:
1. Varying your exercise is the most effective and efficient way to stay lean and healthy. You must do some longer exercise to build cardiovascular endurance, burn lots of calories, and yes, even burn fat during exercise - your body will not click in to “save” mode unless you exercise for long periods of time, regularly and often.
2. You must do resistance training in order to build muscle and strong bones.
3. Nobody wants to exercise more - and we don’t want to train our bodies to need more exercise to stay fit. So exercise efficiently – two short, very intense (relative to your level of fitness) training sessions weekly, like a 15-minute fast run/walk or fast cycling sprint intervals, and two moderately long, moderately intense sessions (30-45 minutes) of strong walking, cycling, or yoga, with one long day (60-90 minutes) of a moderately paced walk/hike. That’s a great five-day/week training schedule.
4. Instead of adding more days to your workout schedule, add a weighted vest to your training. I have said this before, but this is the most efficient way that I know of to build muscle while burning calories. For more information, go to www.walkvest.com.
5. Eat moderately - stop counting fat grams and calories and look at how much food is on your plate! And eat more nutritiously by eating foods that are natural and unprocessed.

Keep it real -
Debbie Rocker

(I know most people that come over my way already know this stuff but I'm writing it down because it helps me to remind myself and I am trying to casually help some friends that are working hard to change their lives.)

Portion sizes are super important, you can be eating the cleanest, most natural, healthy foods and if you are eating too much of them you are not going to lose weight. If that is your aim, then it’s something to really watch. No need to break out the scales and measuring cups however as we have built in tools at no additional cost.
Protein should be in an amount about the size of your flat palm minus fingers and thumb. Palm size varies but is usually a good indication of what portion you should have, for instance: my palm is not the same size as James’, but he needs more fuel than I do.
Carbohydrates should be roughly the size of your closed fist; that equals about a cup. I recommend eating 5-6 small meals a day if possible, and by that I don’t mean 5 chicken fried steaks, I am talking about a portion of protein, portion of carbs and try and make two of your carb portions veggies instead of starches.
Fast Food/Restaurant Eating
Who wants to cook all the time? I get sick of it sometimes, I just want to be waited on and someone else to prepare the food. While this is pretty much guaranteed not to be as good for me (control issues) there are things to watch out for when ordering. Fried takes the “n” out of friend. I have no idea what that means but I think you should avoid it. Covered in cheese is generally not good, but I do not think cheese is the bad guy and should not be eaten. Good quality flavorful cheese makes food TASTY, but it is not necessary to cover up the flavors of what you are eating with a huge layer of it unless the food underneath is not quality itself. Grilled is always going to be better than fried but lots of places still douse it in oil, and we aren’t talking olive. You can ask they go easy on the oil and most places will and there is nothing wrong with saying, “Can I please have a little less heart attack with my vegetables?” Avoid cream sauces, lots of alcohol, and eating multiple slices of bread before you even get your main course. These are some of the main things I had to unlearn because I ADORE great breads and sauces and ahem, The Sauce. Here are some things to get when you just did not/could not plan ahead: Taco Bell has chicken soft tacos that are a good choice without the cheese and sour cream and if that just breaks your heart get it anyway and scrape most of it off. What you probably like is the taste more than a huge clump of dairy products anyway. Wendy’s grilled chicken sandwich is pretty taste and a decent choice, sauce and all and if you throw a piece or two of fruit in your purse/backpack then there you go. McDonald’s grilled chicken sandwich tastes like a rubber boot to me, but that may be just me and I like their $1 menu yogurt parfait though it doesn’t tide me over for long. They may have some decent salads but as I mentioned before, not a big salad eater and if you add the dressing on, croutons etc that they give you, a cheeseburger meal might actually be better for you calorie wise. Iceberg lettuce has little to no nutritional value and that’s what a lot of fast food salads are made of though I can’t speak for Macca’s. Subway has plenty of good choices if you leave the cheese off, or if you really want the cheese LEAVE IT ON and don’t sweat it. If you are really wanting something, just do it unless you realize it’s a daily thing you are doing and not a strong occasional urge.
Which brings me to the idea of dieting/restriction: I do not believe in it. I find it impossible to truly learn a healthy lifestyle if you are basically punishing yourself day in and day out, leading to negative self talk and thinking and self destructive behavior. I thought the loving yourself stuff was a bunch of hooey but it’s not and it is vital to being a whole, healthy, happy person. If you try and eat well the majority of the time and sometimes you just want that chocolate or cheese enchiladas or beer, etc. then have it by all means. But be mindful and enjoy it while you are experiencing the treat. What kind of treat is it if you are mindlessly chewing and swallowing with no pleasure involved? That’s a whole ‘nother kettle of fish but I think I’ve talked enough.

The number one thing that makes eating “right” easier is planning and preparation. That sounds scary/boring but it doesn’t have to be, and it makes life so much easier. I have a short attention span and very little patience so if I can prep food for the week at one time I am guaranteed not to be running for the local pizza hut or eating yet another sandwich. Not that there is necessarily anything wrong with sandwiches, but for me boring equals danger zone, my taste buds must be surprised and stimulated! They’re quite high maintenance really, and quality of taste and ingredients is sort of what I am trying to focus on at this point. That does not mean I don’t have go-to “meals”, I am not a master chef or really even a good cook in my opinion-but I am a good assembler. Here are a few things I’ve been fixating on lately:
1. The cranberry/walnut/feta salad
2. the chocolate soy strawberry shake
3. Athenos baked pita chips, whole wheat of course
4. 2% cottage cheese, heavy on the lemon-pepper seasoning
5. cereal-I mix ¼ c. Kashi go lean crunch with ¾ c Fiber One, skim milk and fruit like bananas and cranberries, blueberries or strawberries-whatever is on sale
6. grilled vegetables basted with olive oil and granulated garlic
7. fresh fruit and veggies
8. crispbread with chicken/tuna salad
9. Carb Balance wheat tortillas

And now I’ll expand out all of this to make it even more exciting!

Okay 1. I already posted the other day, sometimes I throw in different stuff. I’m out of walnuts so I’m using pecans though I don’t love it as much. I also added my leftover grilled veggies and that’s definitely tasty and filling, and since I was lured into buying Fuji apples at Costco and must now be creative with them I added them to my salad. It was good and yet surprising to me because I am normally anti-fruit in savory salad.
2. is great as post workout or quick breakfast; I make a blender of it (about 2 cups blends up to be about 3) and the frozen strawberries are what give it a shake feel, instead of using ice cubes which make it taste too watery. I then keep it in the fridge and just add fresh strawberries and re-blend for a minute when I want to have another one instead of washing the blender and remaking the shake each time. Obviously I drink them pretty quickly or that would be…gross.
Number 3 was an impulse purchase that I have now bought each weekly shopping trip, I like to dip them into the cottage cheese (#4) eat them with sandwiches, soups, etc.
The cereal combo (#5) makes it a “meal” I eat the most I think, I like the different textures and tastes together, it’s light enough to eat at night and the Kashi Go Lean has a pretty worthy amount of protein so I don’t get hungry for awhile, unlike other cereal.
I grill the veggies(#6) for about ten minutes total until there are grill marks and they’re tender enough, and the crispbread(#8) is something my mom turned me on to as an alternative to bread. At 60 calories for two big pieces you can’t beat the crunch and taste you get. When I make chicken or tuna salad I also do that a bit differently. I use reduced fat mayo, capers, and an Italian seasoning blend and it’s wonderful, either on the crispbread or in the tortillas(#9). I love these tortillas because they are so soft and do not harden when you heat them up a bit, not to mention they taste great.
When I do take the time to make my life easier, I like to have a small selection of meat grilled up (or baked if necessary) like turkey tenderloin (much leaner than pork, not so greasy), chicken (I beat it flat with a meat tenderizer mallet, SO much better) or bake it (I put a small loaf pan with water in the oven at the same time I bake meats to help it not dry out so quickly), or burgers which we make from venison but a mix of lean turkey and beef works well too. If you have your veggies cut up in containers and different meats ready to go it’s not that hard to throw something together.
There’s so much more but I’m tired of working on this.

Current favorite recipes:

Cranberry Feta Salad

Romaine lettuce
Cranberries
walnuts
reduced fat feta (crumbled)
reduced fat Ken's Steakhouse Caesar dressing
cherry tomatoes (optional)
purple onion (optional)

Toss it together, eat. What did you expect? It's a salad. The flavors are awesome together though, definitely does not taste same ol', same ol'.

Chocolate Strawberry Shake



1 cup Silk Chocolate Soy Milk Lite
handful of frozen strawberries
1 scoop vanilla soy protein powder

Blend, drink. What did you expect AGAIN? It's a shake. *grin

Both are delicious and hold me over for hours which is quite a feat. Just thought I would share, I haven't gotten tired of either one of these items yet!

My first time being tagged (on my blog that is), and this meme is from Kada.

1. Grab the nearest book.

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.

5. Tag 5 people.

"I was of the opinion that God wasn't messing around and it was critical to look at the reality of the situation, assess what needed to be done, and then put my efforts into BabySteps. Do you see the difference? I still made a big picture analysis, but because of BabySteps did it without the paralysis of no action."

I don't know five people to tag but if you read this and want to do it, please do and let me know!

Edited to add:The title of the book is "Body Clutter, Love Your Body Love Yourself by Marla Cilley and Leanne Ely.

List of Complaints: Nothing to See Here Folks
The Boy is still sick and it breaks my heart not to mention is very tiring on dear ol' mama. My class is not going well though I am still struggling along and at least I can do the labs properly and the reports that go along with them. It's the lecture exams that are heap big scary. My mother is sick, my dad just got done being sick, and this is the second week that I have not felt well and yet it's an even more unsatisfying limbo-unless I am sick on the bed I feel like I need to suck it up and continue being a work horse super woman, even though truly I need to rest. I AM getting better about that but it's an old habit to break.
I have been doing really well, my weight is creeping downward and the weight I lift is creeping upward but I have been unable to workout since Sunday and this is majorly bumming me out, I'm due for my period and feel horribly depressed, old, and unattractive. I've had a few people recently place my age 5-10 yrs older than I am and I cannot tell you how great that makes me feel. Bleh.
I forced myself to grill some eggplant and red peppers and chicken is roasting in the oven as I type, so at least there is that.
I am just tired of everything at this point and I want a vacation from my life, but only to a better one.
Just a terrible, horrible, very bad no good day.

Our son woke up this morning throwing up and crying and what has followed is an endless cycle of feeling badly myself and running the washer/dryer. We received a letter from the Mother's Day Out program he is in about the rotovirus that two children have been diagnosed with over the weekend. I wanted to get in some cardio today but...yeah that is not going to happen.
I am not throwing up myself but feel weak and dazed and am trying to not start up the eating again like yesterday. I stuffed myself pretty good (read:bad) yesterday and woke up not wanting anything. Missing lecture today is not the way to make it through organic chem but I couldn't help it and sometimes you just have to deal with life and make it through.
Let's see, took a rest day Thursday and was still feeling yicky and tired, Friday I cleaned like a madwoman and know for a fact that it was just as good as a regular cardio session, I was sweating pretty hard trying to get it together before in-laws arrived for the weekend. Then Saturday I got up and worked it on the elliptical outside for 20 minutes and Sunday I attended yoga again with sister-in-law though it was a different instructor and neither one of us liked it as much.
I've started feeling tiny again and I think that is partly to blame for the Day of Eating yesterday and my wayward feelings today. I was upset last night by family bullshit and I don't deal well with that either, I need to get busy with my B0dy Clutter book and try and figure out what is at the root of all my issues with eating and trying to feel good about myself with sabotaging it.

101st post, very cool. I mean to do one of those 100 things in however many days lists, I think it's important to always be striving to do, see, and think more.
I hate tracking things but I think I need to start writing down what weights I'm lifting as it's changed again and I think I may need to examine closer what I'm lifting as pretty much everything has changed to a bit heavier and I'm not remembering as well. If I don't push it each and every time I won't progress as quickly or as completely as I would like.
It is also killing my data loving self to not know for sure how much the bars weight, etc. For my own knowledge and yours if you like this sort of thing (I am looking at what I can do with good form for one set, not what I could do if I was doing a one rep max.):
Shoulder press, sitting: 30-35 lbs. which seems puny but I know is maybe twice what I could do when I started. I also must keep in mind these are free weights and not compare them to weights on resistance machines.
Walking lunges: 34 lbs. This is already a step up but I think I could go up to maybe 40 lbs soonish. (split that into halves for each dumbbell I'm carrying)
Chest Fly, bench: 30lbs + whatever the arms weigh, hard to explain, maybe I will take pictures
Squats, dumbbells: 43 lbs. Just bumped this up and I think I could go up some more since I can do 3 sets plus negative holds for 30secs, though it is challenging.
Bicep curls: 14 lbs.-that seems so puny but when I started with it I couldn't do a full set of ten without doing negatives on this weight and now I can do the ten and then do a 30 sec. negative hold as well, so progress but so slow. Maybe I should mention I have probably already done two sets of pushups at this point and am pretty confident now that I think of it I could do a higher weight on curls if I hadn't already fatigued my arms a good bit.
Calf raises: 58-60lbs. I can lift more than this with my calves but my ARMS have to hold the dumbbells in my home gym and so 60 lbs. for long enough to do a set of 15 rocking lifts with a 30 sec. negative hold at the end is enough. Just raised this from 48-50 lbs.
Tricep extension: 14 lbs, my triceps have come a long way from only being able to work with about 5 lbs way back when. Only make it to 20 sec. on the hold at the end, working on that.
I think that's it...some of this I do two sets but not many. My objective is to work out with the most efficiency, not longevity.
I've pretty much stopped doing deadlifts, still drag that move out sometimes but even though I pay close attention to form there is just so much potential for someone like me working out alone to hurt myself. Squats with a 30 sec hold at the end and walking lunges seems to be doing the trick for the old backside.
I started out my workout today with 5 min warm up on the elliptical trainer and then since it is so beautiful out there I took out my bike after I finished lifting and just rode around the block (about a mile) listening to my iPod and feeling the breeze on my face. Things are going well, slowly knocking out the bloat I ended up with after overeating the last few weeks, perhaps the real fat will start melting off again-I'd like to see the figure that had started emerging before I got sick two times ago. Sigh.

Chinese Friday night, Greek and Chinese take out Saturday, and Mexican food for lunch Sunday-yoga Friday, walking Saturday, and then the feat to top it all: morning yoga at the gym with my lovely SIL.
That's the wrap up of the days since I've been here-thought I should get that out of the way. Sunday and yesterday I felt so ill I did well to walk from the couch to the bed, and even though I'm not 100% today I just took John Reid out for a walk through the neighborhood then worked in the backyard a little bit. My second organic chem test is tomorrow morning and I am not prepared and am fretting like always. I have so much to say but no time for now-have to make myself study.
I'll just tell you about the yoga class Sunday before I go. The class I have taken at the same gym and also my dvd I work from at home are both "power yoga". Quickly moving and a decent cardio workout as well as strength training. The Tuesday night power yoga class usually kicked my tail really well and when I walked up to the classroom Sunday morning and so it was called "yoga stretch" I was dubious. First off a little more background; Saturday night I attended a party for a friend at a smokey bar and did not get to sleep until after 1 and the class was at 9:30. Not that bad you say but I was not feeling so hot that morning so it was a real feat to even show up, let alone do the class. So I see the instructor and I'd had her before as a sub on Tuesday night and remembered I got a great workout from her method. This class was much slower than I am used to and extremely physically challenging. I feel like form was more of a focus and she sure does love the plank pose and we were admonished to be strong and straight during plank, not like a saggy rotten log. Lol. Nice eh?
It was great, would do it again definitely, and now I must be off to study.

I ate a lot last night, a lot of sodium and large portions. I'm not going to feel badly about it thought, it was special and my Hubby made us dinner, the same meal in fact he made for me our first Valentine's. It's been extremely cold for Texas (in the 20s) and working out in the garage just has not been an option. Call me a wuss, I don't care-I am not working out when the bones in my hands hurt from the temperature. However, I will be hitting the gym if this continues, I have an indoor workout option, it's just not nearly as convenient. I would try out the gym's daycare today if John Reid was not sick, he woke up yesterday sneezing, coughing, and impersonating a snot faucet. I am experiencing some of the same (except the cough) but it's not getting me down because I am not letting it. So there germs!
This Sunday I am attending a yoga class with my SIL at 9:30 am. The fact that I am also attending a friend's blow out birthday party at a club/restaurant the night before is not going to slow me down, I am sort of "over" staying up late and drinking. I'd rather remain sober, be able to drive home instead of wasting money on a cab, get to bed at a decent time, and be able to get up and bless my spirit with someone I love. Take that preconceived notion of fun!
Where did everyone go? I miss having something to read when I should be doing other things. *smile

Friday and Saturday were elliptical days, Saturday our son hit his dad's garage door remote on his keys and when it started coming up with no warning and its loud screechyness I about fell off the machine and screamed like a total weinie. Sunday was my mother's birthday and even though I had gone out to eat the previous two nights I had to eat Italian take out that night and while delicious, was not a smart choice. However, I think the other nights were good choices and I ended up maintaining over the weekend somehow so that must mean ye olde scale had dropped a bit. No worries, at this point I'm truly in a place where the scale is merely a tool, albeit a faulty one, and so I am not feeling bad/good about any numbers. If it becomes a mental pitfall I will once again avoid weighing but I don't see it happening. Working on loving myself, imperfect or no, has removed a lot of things.
Yesterday I fit a lifting session in between dropping the Boy off and driving to school. I upped my weights on chest flyes, squats, calf raises, and triceps extensions. I need to up it on the lunges as well and I was able to complete a set of curls with no negative reps needed on either arm, something I've been working towards. I came inside and laid on the floor, legs point straight up and shoulders/head raised as well, like a curled up sort of position that killed my abs-held that for a slow count of thirty and then did plank for...hmm I think thirty (the cat came up and decided to decorate my face with her tail fur while I was trying to concentrate).
Eating is sensible and unmeasured, I've had a hard time getting back to the great place I had arrived with food after eating that Italian food, its like it set off a chain reaction of munchy days-that should tell us something about so-called "bad" food. High fat/calorie/grease/salt food sets off negative behavior for me, but the good news is: this too shall pass.
A shake of cinnamon in your coffee grounds before brewing really livens up a cup of joe, I'm just sayin'.

The day after a weight training workout I take a rest day, but this time I thought we were going to have visitors this weekend, and so I cleaned quite a bit and fell in to bed exhausted.
Friday morning I rolled out of bed, extremely groggy, took the Boy to school, ran home with no minutes to spare and hopped on the elliptical for a gut busting workout. Showered and dressed I had no time to eat or I would be late for school, so I popped some oatmeal with strawberries and egg whites in the micro. That may sound gross but its actually quite good, tastes like an oatmeal bar because you don't taste the whites, just get some protein. You don't taste them if you don't nuke the bejeezus out of it until it explodes. Sigh.
So kinda nast but I ate it anyway when I stopped at red lights and it was fine, not every meal has to be a culinary masterpiece.
Which brings me to last night's dinner. (Nice segue eh?) We went back to the local seafood place that we've been to twice before. The first time we went I ordered a grilled platter and really enjoyed it. They make this bread that is divine with a crystallized sugar on top that sounds strange in a dinner bread but is so great! We devoured that bread in a few moments just between the two of us. We also usually get the calamari, which as you know is fried with a fatty sauce. I've realized that even though I like the taste it makes me sick later, heartburn, etc. The second time I wanted their french fries for some reason, and I did something really stupid-I ordered a fried platter. I was sick as a dog before we even left the premises, why did I think I would like it? It tasted gross to me and I felt awful the rest of the night.
So, this time I ordered one of their specialties, cajun pineapple tillapia-a spiced fillet with a pineapple salsa over it that was great and a good choice at the same time. No appetizer, only a few small slices of that delish bread, one glass of wine that I didn't finish, and even though I ordered the baked potato as my second side I tried it, didn't think it was that good and left it. I am working on quality not quantity.
There's a great show on Food network with Giada from the everyday italian show-she goes to different cities and shows you places to explore and of course, eat. I love it! I notice she tries all kinds of gorgeous foods, doesn't worry about calorie count, but she truly enjoys each bite and is in the moment. I am tired of living life, and especially eating on auto pilot.
The future looks so rosy.

Thanks for the well wishes, I'm feeling a lot better today-probably at 90%. Yesterday I decided to just act "as if" and despite the nausea walked a brisk 1.3 miles in about 18 minutes. That's pretty damn good pushing a stroller coming off of being sick. Calories burned: 190, asses kicked: 1.
Had to run to lab last night during another class's time to re-weigh the sample I had to turn in with my report. It's a good thing I did since it was waaaay off and would have really brought my grade down. I felt so sick before I left I wasn't sure what to do but did it anyway and took care of business. School is stressing me out big time and I know the lack of exercise lately is partially to thank for that. Which brings me to my next thought...
This new way of life I'm building, free from dieting and unnatural behavior, only works if I move my body regularly. Ta da! Epiphany free of charge!
When you are restricting calories, missing workouts slows down progress but it doesn't completely toss it out, or at least not for me. Trying to intuitively eat, listening to my body, but yet still trying to become the best version of me only works with regular intense exercise. I think if I was just looking to maintain my weight I could let it slide more often but really, doesn't that defeat the whole point here? My goal is to instinctively choose food that is good for my body and to intentionally move around each day as part of what is normal to me, not forced. Resting at least two days a week is also part of my plan and it has made a huge difference.
Being a nutrition major means I strongly believe in choosing the best possible fuel for my body and mind. I do not believe in uneducated intuitive eating, but I do not believe what I mean by that would be truly intuitive eating anyway. The whole idea behind it is to be in tune with your body and to truly listen and if you are still steadily making poor choices that hurt your well being, than perhaps you aren't quite there yet. I also believe that the dieting I have participated in the last few years ended up being mentally destructive, and to a degree physically, and yet I learned so much about what I need to feed myself and a strong desire to educate myself further and to help others was born. So all in all, not a wash and I am happy and proud that I'm breaking out of the highly self-critical self esteen busting lifestyle I had slipped into-mainly through Weight W@tchers. On the other hand I don't think it is evil, or bad for everyone, but the mentality of the scale mattering so much and my self worth hinging on what number flashed up that day was not healthy for me.
I'm still figuring things out, but as of yesterday I'm back in business. Today I fit in a tremendous lifting session and feel good about what I accomplished. I need to focus on that instead of how large my abdomen is today, it's swollen out 3-4 inches bigger than normal and I have no idea what is going on-not making me feel good about myself though. Writing this helped me to see what I need to be looking at instead of examining myself in the mirror.
To clarify about the drinking: my bad influence friend and her husband were our drinking buddies and we'd put away a case each on a bad/good night. When I woke up and stopped basically killing myself with food and alcohol I am sure it threw her for a loop. Socially drinking is fine with me, just when I have a headache or just flat out don't want to drink, she needs to accept that and stop harping on about why I am not being "part of" things.

When I feel bad my habits are complete rubbish. I realize I'm from Texas but rubbish is the perfect descriptor here. I thought I felt badly yesterday from the not so stellar performance the night before but halfway through the SuperBowl party at the same infamously influential friend's house I needed to go home, RIGHT THEN. Sore throat, sour stomach, major lethargy, felt like I was sinking. I did eat like crap at the party, but not nearly as badly as I might have in the past. Luckily this mystery illness causes my stomach to feel full immediately, with unfortunate distended bloating and other nasty unmentionables. Anyway, sick yet again, feel like crap, and everything is derailed for the moment, but I'm not diving head first into food my body doesn't actually want, so that's a start right?

Kada, thanks for the support, I really appreciate it!
LME, this particular friend doesn't understand that some people don't actually want to drink constantly and does actually act strangely towards me when I refuse. However, I do refuse when I am not feeling it and she can just deal with it if it bothers her. It has affected us though and I don't hang out with her nearly as much as I did when WE both drank a lot with her and her husband. Thanks for the get well wishes, and I think I will actually ask her flat out next time why she is so terribly interested in what I drink.

Friday I hit the weights hard and yesterday morning I definitely was feeling it. Disappointingly more in my upper body than lower but there was soreness there, just not as much. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to make progress on my upper body but I like to know that I successfully kicked my own ass (literally) since the major muscle groups burn more calories and build up more as well. I also had an excellent eating day, got plenty of veggies and I know I kept it at a healthy level just by making good choices.
Then we get to yesterday. No workout for me as it was my recovery day from lifting. I have been purposefully setting the following day as a rest day this go round and it has given me much better results and is better for me mentally as well. Husband wanted to go to the Dallas b0at show, for something to do out of the house and also to get an idea if it is even feasible in a few years to have one. I made a nice little breakfast for myself and then packed some kash! g0 lean cereal, cranberries, and yogurt covered raisins in a baggie to munch if I got hungry. Well I ate that in the car on the way there, which is fine, but then when we left I needed to pee because I opted not to do so there like a dummie and so being in downtown there were not a lot of options besides restaurants. We have a late "lunch" even though neither one of us was truly hungry enough for it, and boy did I overeat. To give myself some credit though, I drank several large glasses of water there and my meal was blackened fish tacos and I did not eat much of my rice or charro beans. I did well on my choice, just not on the portion at all.
Last night we had a fight night party at a friend's house, so after dropping the Boy off we headed over there at 8 and I was finally hungry again. Instead of getting into an argument about requesting something "healthier" to eat and then eating something bad on top of it, I just agreed to pizza and started drinking my red wine. Red wine on an empty tummy, Husband did not order the food right away, so it was 10 before I ate anything. I did only eat 2 pieces which was a major deal for me since it's always been a trigger food. The problem I am working up to is a proceeded to drink almost the whole bottle of red, plus had a jello shot which I did not really want/need, then after our friend dropped us home I had another beer! I had reached that point of thinking I needed to keep drinking even though I reeeeeallly did not. Now keep in mind this was over a 7 hr period, but still!
So I feel like total ass right now, mainly due to empty tummy since I have been downing a great amount of water and don't feel dehydrated. I am a weirdo that cannot sleep after drinking too much and so I only got 4 hrs and could not toss and turn anymore listening to various bodily functions on the other side of the bed. Beer makes you somewhat of a musical instrument apparently.
I will not continue on a destructive streak today, and I am saying right now: there will be no drinking tonight for moi, super bowl be damned. The group is getting together again that was together last night and it's at my friend's house that is a bad influence for me with both food and drink. She's fun, we talk 90 miles an hr, but I tend to make bad choices just being around her. Not tonight!