Thursday, March 08, 2007

Greedy, that's me. I want new posts from everyone to read and yet here I sit not writing anything myself.
The tidal waves of sickness that plagued us for the last few weeks have gone and life is returning back to normal. Well physically that is, my mental state has sort of gone south-basically I think what is bugging me is my best friend is in a lot of pain right now. The guy she thought she would marry is more than likely dumping her tonight and he has left her in limbo all week. At this point I would like to punch his stupid face in, but I digress.
So I started taking Wellbutrin today and I am having some side effects, but I think it is related to the lack of water and food I have had today. Not on purpose, let me assure you. This girl is not one to starve herself, but I went by my mother's before she left for work and right before I left the afore mentioned friend called and sounded terrible. I called her back and even though I had a happy day planned of shoe shopping with my wonderful little boy, I turned the car around and headed straight to her apartment. She said she needed a hug and so I was there. I talked with her about everything and held her while she cried and this is very hard. On a selfish note it really sucks to be dealing with this on my birthday weekend, but unselfishly that is not stopping me from being her support.
For clarficiation I am not taking an anxiety medication because of her problems, it probably sounded that way in the above wording but that is not the case. I have struggled for years now with stress and depression and have yet to find a medication that works for me all the way around-lexapro did a good job but (TMI alert) made me unable to enjoy sex/any stimulation whatsoever. I stopped taking that immediately, ha! But the fact is, without some type of medical help I do not enjoy the wonderful life I have like I should, I am anxious and angry and irritable and then alternately mopey and tearful and full of despair. Not the way I want to live my life and so I am trying again. The side effect seems to be nausea and light headedness but I am already feeling better now that I ate some more and am drinking my third cup of water since we got back home.
I want to lift weights when my Husband gets home but maybe that is not a good idea with how my head feels. It has been a week though tomorrow, and I don't go more than a week without working out my whole body to failure. Working out once a week, using the heaviest weights possible and then resting the whole next day (no exercise planned at all) has done wonders for my body and strength. I have also consistently lifted, even during the sickness, because I know it is once a week and it makes me feel powerful and strong. I am steadily lifting heavier and that is progress I can touch and see and feel, unlike the scale. My scale weight is still heavier than my old consistent weigh ins and yet I look and feel so much better. Happy Birthday to me tomorrow, yay!


metamorphose said...

Happy birthday to you tomorrow! Rock on, March sistah!

I took Wellbutrin for a few years. I had to be careful to take it at the same time every morning, or else I would be a little out of whack. I hope it works well for you (and whoo-hoo on having low sexual side effects -scary when that happens, I can definitely relate.)

My heart goes out to your friend.

LME said...

Oh, Happy Birthday tomorrow!!!

Are you doing anything special to celebrate?