Sunday, June 08, 2008

So I'm evolving again.

Is anyone really surprised? I don't know why I am surprised ever time the new wears off and I get bogged down and am not sure how to fix it. I then find the NEW BEST THING and am off and running again. Why do I try and force myself to be someone that sticks with the same thing for very long?
I came to the realization today that it is A-OK for me to change my mind continually as long as I am still heading in a postitive direction and it hurts no one else. Intuitive eating feels too aimless for me, it lasted for a month this time and I am taking away some very important lessons. I hate to come across as totally ditching the endeavor or that it is not valid or wonderful, it is, but my curse or blessing (depending on how you look at it) is to have a driving need to change constantly, to evolve, to try new things.
I am not digging how I am feeling about my body or my health or my energy levels lately, and I definitely need a recharge.
Not sure what to try next, so far this year it has been vegetarian eating and intuitive eating, we'll see what I land on now. As always, nothing unhealthy or too restrictive. Vegetarian eating was too restrictive and intuitive eating too loose. I have discovered I need structure but too much kicks in disordered thinking.
Accepting myself apparently means to be okay with the fact that I am not that accepting. Hmm.

PS Weights workout again today, so two this week-want to shoot for three though I am thinking I have to get my wake up schedule under control in order to hit my workouts like clockwork. Been working on that and am naturally waking up fairly early now so that should be "no sweat". Ha.

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