Sunday, August 20, 2006

When a blogger falls silent it usually spells trouble, and I am not any different. I was really hitting new goals and hit my weight goal I set for tommorrow about 2 weeks ago, and then I lost my damn mind. I don't know if it was the dreaded period stuff (The Hunger, tm-Mar!a) or if I was depriving myself and didn't realize, but I decided that multiple days of binging right before we go on a beach vacation must be a good idea. Sigh. So now back up 5 lbs and still slowly getting back in control. Probably the worst thing I've been doing is drinking again. Wow, that sounds like I'm in a school pick up line with a cocktail in a Sonic cup, but it's not like that. Beer, on the weekends, which is really a downfall for me. I drink and then I eat mindlessly, even though I'm not completely gone. It's as if my mind thinks that gives me free license=the old "I messed up so here we go" thing. And the thing is, I look fine, slightly puffier but no biggie, and I hate that I'm so neurotic. I guess it's because it takes me so damn long to lose anything and I've been working on it this go around for over a year and before it took me even longer to lose the same amount. I always think I should be able to do everything top notch each and every time and I hate feeling weak. What the hell does it matter if I am 5 lbs heavier? It sucks because I have to lose that over again but that's it. It does not make me a bad, lazy, or weak person. Come on brain, catch up with my logic.


Mar!a said...

When I drink I instantly gain 5 pounds, even from only one or two beers. It does come off, but takes most of the week, then the weekend comes around again and I drink another beer and gain it back. It's the never-ending saga of my life!

Erin said...

This particular phenomenon really sucks, and I'm sorry you have it too but it is comforting to know someone else shares my situation. Any alcohol, or really even packaged foods, definitely any "going out to eat" dishes (even salads) tend to make me blow up and it hangs around like this run on sentence. Heh.