Thursday, October 19, 2006

Obviously, no matter what I tell myself I DO buy into what the scale says. Even though I managed to make myself workout Saturday, I think going up everyday despite the work I was putting in really did a number on me. While watching the Biggest L0ser last night, the women on the red team kept saying they were afraid they would get on the giant scale and have gained...I think it's a common fear for people trying to lose weight that no matter how hard you try it's going to back fire on you or it's not enough. Saturday night: I had decided to stay within a certain calorie range so like a brilliant dumbass (you like that?) I mixed a martini without eating dinner first, and it just went downhill from there. I vaguely remember making a peanut butter/jelly sandwich before going to pass out and not even saying goodbye to our guests. I felt like the biggest tool in the shop when I woke up Sunday.
There are many more ramifications beyond that night's calories as well. I got up and felt destroyed even though I didn't drink THAT much, and so Hubby insisted on going to eat brunch because he wanted something greasy and I went along even though I did actually to my credit tell him no several times. So I went along and I did alright on my choice, but then I came home and slept for 6 hrs. There went the entire day, not only no workout but no general movements either if you are lying in the bed like a coma patient. After sleeping all day I took a sleeping pill that night to try and sleep some more and get back in the swing of things but of course I never even went all the way to sleep-just went in and out of it-and so I've felt crap ever since. This entire week has been awful, all because of my calorie counting-drinking ways on Saturday. I didn't even get a workout in until yesterday and then the rest of the day I felt like I'd been run over. These classes and the demanind sleep (or lack thereof) schedule I'm on have combined to kick my ass.
Oddly enough I've eaten decently the last two days and the weird pounds that came on last week are gone and I'm back to 145 even. Now if I can remove another lb. I'll be back to my low and back on the way to new territory. I don't know when that will happen on the scale but as long as I don't gain weirdly and I get smaller, I can stay at this weight for all I care. (Ok the 130s would be awesome since I don't remember ever weighing that small.)

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