Monday, May 12, 2008

It is continuing to blow my mind that I can eat whatever I want and be happy with myself and my body and my life after the last several years being in such tense combat with my own biology.
I think the key to truly being able to be a "normal" eater again after dieting for a long time is not caring if you gain back some weight and genuinely accepting yourself. I won't lie, I'm not there 100% of the time but letting go of the control an the tension has been huge for me. Huge. I treat food a lot differently too, I eat bakery muffins with sugar on top and potato chips and honestly I've been drinking too often lately, and it all makes little difference in what I look like or how I feel. Huge change.
I can eat these things or have a drink because I know I can go and have more in five minutes if I really want it and 9 out of 10 times I don't want it, it is no longer forbidden. I thought I was immune to that psychobabble bullshit. Surprise.

2 comments:

Kada said...

Hoooray!

You're doing so well, such a healthy outlook. Needing to be there 100% of the time is diet thinking anyway!

Have I mentioned lately that I'm proud of you?

If not. . .I'm proud of you, Erin!

Erin said...

Kada,

I'm enjoying the more frequent posting over your way and think you seem to be making great progress working through some things, especially in the way that you need to be treated. You rock!