Friday, April 25, 2008

The last few days or so I've been feeling like my beautiful lie is crashing down around me. Never mind that for the past month I have felt phenomenal, looked the best I have in a long time, and been so much less stressed out and crappy feeling in general. All it took was maybe a day of wanting to stuff my face and experiencing exhaustion to make me doubt myself and my new found ability to trust my body. Guess what? I'm just bloated and hormonal and cramping and sleeping a whole lot extra...the way I am feeling is normal and will pass soon, hopefully any day now. With time I think I'll learn better ways to weather this kind of thing out instead of jumping to the conclusion that I'm rubbish and untrustworthy and destined to rip the seams on my trousers.
Another huge contributor to the way I'm feeling is only working out twice in the past month, that is just very un-Erin-y but I finally had to let something go in order to preserve my sanity and for a bit I even let cooking go and ate takeout several times a week. School just got INSANE for the past month as you can see from my lack of posting and I found out today that all my classmates have felt the same way for the past month. Thank goodness I chose to break loose from dieting and guilting myself over workouts at just the right time.
I'm headed to bed now even though it's not even 9 but I am so damned tired and am hopeful that I can ride my bike or whatever strikes me in the morning, I am so excited to workout again I can hardly stand it.
In summary: things are going well but my hormones make me crazy sometimes and school is almost out, yay team.

1 comment:

M@rla said...

As soon as I read the first sentences I thought: This is hormonal and it will pass. But I'm the same way, apparently I have no long-term memory, because I am always shocked anew each month by hunger, bloat, and fatigue. EACH MONTH for the past 408 months.

There are good and bad points to keeping logs and diaries, but one definite bonus in blogging and tracking my diet/exercise is that I have finally learned to recognize some patterns. Like, there is a point in my cycle where I am always so excited that I've lost some weight! All my pants are loose! And then of course the next week it's back to normal--it's just the opposite side of the bloat days.

I don't know if this is too weird, but would it be helpful to mark on a calendar ahead of time those days when you might feel this way? After I went off birth control pills I had to start marking the date so I wouldn't be unprepared, and that's really the first time I ever noticed cyclic influences. Forewarned is forearmed, is all I'm saying.

p.s. Just concentrate on the school! Let everything else take care of itself for a while; it will all still be there when you're done :-)