Life is just really getting in my way right now. I wanted to say thank you to everyone that stopped by and left a comment and anyone out there that doesn't comment but stops by anyway (as long as you don't come here to insult me through the monitor). It always blows me away when people (you guys) leave me a comment because you're all engaging wonderful writers and I get a little star struck. This may seem weird but I am socially awkward. Ahem.
Lifted weights again for the first time in several weeks. I've not been inactive mind you (except for during the numerous bouts of sickness I endure on a regular basis)but I've been focusing on yoga rather than free weights and now my interest in weight lifting is peaking once more. I don't want to do AWAY with yoga though, I truly love it and think it is amazing but I have a hard time fitting in both, my mindset wars between the two and for some reason it's like getting a cat and dog to live in harmony with each other. The cat stretches gracefully on the back of the couch and the dog lumbers into the glass sliding door and both are enjoyable. My cat and dog DO live quite well with each other so I know I can get there.
Something else I've concluded is that trying to force myself to adhere to the same activity, sometimes even for a few days at a time, is a losing battle. I embrace change, I crave it and feel stifled when forced into monotony. Some would call it being fickle or flighty but this is just the way I am wired. I am not the person that leaves their home decorated the same way for years, you will not find pictures with the same hairstyle for maybe more than a few months period at a time and the way I dress used to change on a daily basis but now goes more on a few month to a year cycle. I like variety in all things, my ideal would be to swim one day, rock climb another, bike ride and play raquetball, weight train and do yoga, kayak-you name it but different all the time. This is also why being vegetarian did not work for me. I hate being locked into a box and while I know I can enjoy it in cycles the idea of something being forbidden to me for the rest of my life chaps my ass. I lasted two months before succumbing to a turkey sandwich and then I had the best spicy chicken sandwich combo from Wendy's of my life. I was literally giddy to be eating it which is funny since it has no lie, been years since going through a drive thru establishment. I am well aware you can have quite a variety in vegetarian dishes but in order to do that I was putting in a lot of time I just don't have at this point. I know I'll cycle back around to eating veggie and obsessing over yoga but for now I'm back in a meat eating (within reason) and weight lifting phase.
I'd be a lot happier if I would just stop trying to force my square peg self into round holes.

An attempt to catch back up:

"I'm sorry you're sick! I hate so much the way illness interferes with one's life, even more than the actual yucky feeling.

What's the deal with the sodium? Is there more salt in what you're eating, or are you adding salt?

I put salt on SO many things, which may seem surprising given how often I complain about salt in processed food, but the amount you sprinkle on your food is NOTHING compared to what's in those packaged products!!

I've got some of those Mrs. Dash seasonings, they're actually pretty good. I don't like the original flavor, so I was always put off by it, until I had some Lemon Pepper variety. Very tasty. "

Being sick again really kicked me in the ass, knocked me down and then spat on my face. Okay perhaps not THAT dramatic but it feels like it. Nevertheless I am truckin' on despite not being totally well. I am still horking up unmentionables everyday and waking up with extremely dry nasopharynx and oropharynx passages. Lots of blood in my snot, etc.
So enough snotty talk. The deal with the sodium is that a lot of cheeses and sauces have high sodium counts and while doing the units on cardiovascular disease at school (hypertension and heart failure especially) I freaked out over sodium content and became convinced as well that it was the reason I'm not losing this weight I've gained back. A simple calculation one night showed me still eating low sodium, which is probably representative of most of my days, so I'm not really sure why I can't lose it this time. There are also "light" salt and "no salt" salt products (potassium chloride or half sodium and half potassium chloride) on the market. In reality I am pretty good with my sodium levels but I am frustrated with the weight situation. I want to have the option of wearing any of my clothes and I don't like feeling so squishy. The few pounds I lost finally recently are back though I hope they don't hang around. The body is a mysterious confusing thing. I've lost weight before, several times in fact and so my frustration level shoots through the roof because why is it not going the same way this time? Why is it so much harder? Argh. I am moving towards a completely different point of view but I feel torn. It would take too much time to go into that and I barely got this eked out.

Started yoga again, still loving being a vegetarian, went to the Foo Fighter's show last night and sat in a luxury sweet, it was awesome. I'm not a huge fan and didn't expect it to be as great as it was, so glad to be pleasantly proven wrong.
I am still very

It's bizarre. I have more energy than I know what to do with for the first time in years and I am rarely hungry and when I do eat I feel satiated on very little food, and it is genuine because I have sat and waited to be hungry and experienced genuine surprise when I'm not.
And yet it is bugging me just a teeny tiny bit, way down inside and I am ashamed to admit it, that the scale reads the same and my pants are still really tight.
Even when I accept in a big way that I feel amazing, and that I know logically I am doing nothing to perpetuate the sausage casing pant situation, it is annoying and a little disheartening.
Never fear, I persevere!

Still loving my new lifestyle, it spurred a lot of thinking about why I like it so much last night while going to bed. I start back to school today so I really don't have time for a well thought out entry as my alarm clock did not go off this morning for some reason.
Weight is starting to drop, who the hell knows why. I've been extremely physically active lately (redoing that room, whole body aching in the morning) and definitely not eating too many calories and only whole, healthful foods and it has done nothing but stay the same or go up. So much for "calories in/calories out".
I read on the Kate Harding post that M@rla linked to lately that "human beings are not bunsen burners" and I love that statement.
I start riding the train tomorrow for my commute so that means a lot of walking just as part of my normal day from here on out-at least most days. I am super excited about this-I could write a whole post.
But I won't, at least for now.