Good Job

We went out to eat yesterday and I stayed focused. (!) Grumpy grinch was in the house, I bit my husband's head off for suggesting we go out to eat after I told him I was really working towards stopping the yo-yo and getting this weight I regained off and it sort of set the tone. He does so many nice things for me but he also is so oblivious sometimes and while I have endless patience for our son, not so much for him. This is something I am changing, it wasn't always this way and it is noticeably less when I am not completely overloaded mentally.
So, I said okay we will do whatever you want though I did ixnay the mex place he wanted to take us and we went to a place called Houlihan's. We've only gone one time but I would go back in a heartbeat and I recommend it if you have one in your area. They kindly had items starred on the menu that were lower calorie and so we ordered an appetizer that was starred (calamari) and my entree was the Tandoori Chicken wrap with african spiced fruit on the side. It was very good and I looked up the nutrition info on their site when we finally got home and the meal was 450 calories-I only ate 3/4 of one tortilla and unrolled the rest of it so I know that knocked off about 100 calories (which I replaced with the calamari) and if I would have stopped there it would have been perfect. I ate two bites of my son's "itty bitty" burgers and OH MY was it delicious and I wanted to eat his whole plate. I should have left it alone, but still not much damage done since I barely ate yesterday by accident. Then they brought vanilla ice cream out that came with his meal and maybe it has been a really long time since I ate regular ice cream but one little teaspoon of it was the sweetest, creamiest...wow hot damn it was good. That is all I had though and it could have been blue bell for all I know. They make everything from scratch at the place and you could really tell. I also had a bite of Husband's burger which had Tillamook cheddar cheese and two strips of bacon. Again, the bun was incredible and the rest of it...ay ya ya. The cheese is aged nine months. If I get a crazy burger craving someday when I can splurge a bit more then I know where we are going! After looking at the nutrition info again for a minute I can see a LOT of options for me here, this makes me happy though that does not mean we will be going out to eat often again. I originally typed "out to eat a ton again", fitting.
So I'm up to 159.2 this morning, so .6 of a pound after going out to eat (with the resulting increased sodium load.) I am proud of myself! Also we went out to Cabela's in Ft. Worth (huge hunting/fishing/camping store) and the guys got cookies for a snack and I just walked around with my iced green tea in a bottle that I brought a long. That is not THAT unusual for me but I usually would have had "just one bite". Typing this out helps me to see that my "just one bites" added about 150-200 calories to my total yesterday. Yikes! Something to work on.
A workout is in order today and I'm going to make "Falafel Stuffed Pitas" and "Braised Pork Tenderloin with leeks" today.
More than likely we'll take my mom out for lunch for her birthday too and I have renewed confidence that I won't let my compulsions get the best of me.

Shove Off Bodybugg (just kidding) 158.6 (-1.6)

Down a pound today (finally) but since that was over the last two weeks the little picture of the guy on the bodybugg program was sort of scolding me. What they don't know is I was back up to almost 162 Tuesday after I went nuts Monday night with tex mex. So being down to 158.6 is pretty major if I do say so myself.
I usually don't list numbers here for fear of being judged one way or another. I think I need to put it out there and talk more about where I have been and where I came from instead of being so vague. I'll start that later. haha! Oh man, I kill me. I think if you counted up the pounds I have lost and gained, lost and gained over the years it would be an absolutely ridiculous number. Not to mention the eating disordered thinking I've taken on when I started dieting back in...hm, 2002 maybe? That wasn't the first time I went on a diet but that was sort of what started the snowball rolling and then after joining WW I learned so many bad things...when we talk about ED in class I am silently saying to myself, "yep that is me, that is me, I do that, what if everyone knew that?" Scary stuff, but since I am not terribly thin I don't think anyone realizes what goes on upstairs. I am aware and I am changing my thought patterns and behaviors and I can do this. We all have choices every day, I loved the post "Split Second" by Lyn at Escape from Obesity (reading her archives now, that is also something I do when I find a blog I like, so be aware I've prob read everything you've written.) I will link to it if I can go back and find it. ETA: Vickie, who totally rocks and you should read, found the link for me and so ta da!
Blogland inspires me so much, I will be mentioning people every day if I can that I think rock, there is almost a never ending supply of inspiring kick ass people out there.
Family calls, I'll just have to come back here later.

I'm a smart gal, a realist most of the time and have quite a bit of knowledge stowed away regarding nutrition and fitness. This does not stop me from being a tiiiiiny bit unhappy that I am working out hardcore and eating well and not showing a loss after three days (I did two workouts on two of those days so in my mind I keep wanting to convert that to 5 workouts). This is ridiculous, the scale is not a good reflection and I am aware of that and trust me this does not make me want to derail or anything negative. It just bugs me that I am finally kicking it into gear again and "nothing" is happening. I haven't taken measurements or anything like that and a few days is not generally enough to feel a difference in my clothes but it is just irritating. Perhaps this is just how it goes when you workout a lot and eat modestly, my super hero friend M@rla may suffer from this as the damned scale was not a friend despite honest hard work towards weight loss. I do see the numbers fall if I do daily walks and have a really tight reign on calories and sodium but which would I choose: muscles and a tighter body though not a lower number on the scale or little muscle and a flat ass. Really, it's not even a choice but an easy path to see.
Today is supposed to be a walk or yoga day, I gotta get some type of recovery level calorie burning in but I just don't know where that fits-there's tons of snow outside and my schedule at school does not allow a visit to the gym there. I gotta do SOMEthing, maybe I'll handwash the kitchen floor and other things like that. While wearing my HRM of course, I am a nerd after all.

As of this morning: 154.6 lbs, 33% BF, 47.5 on hydration. I've been at 32% BF (at a 48 hydration) for so damn long I want that to drop, forget the weight number. If the weight stays exactly the same and the BF goes down I will dance a jig in the street. On a positive note though, the fancy pants scale at the Plano hospital I've seen some clients at showed me to be about 65% muscle. That was about twice the amount of the other student I was working with, not that I am sitting around comparing myself to her but it was a good feeling to hear that number. Hopefully I can check that again after I continue on my workout schedule for a couple months.
Oh yeah back to the snow, this is Texas. We just don't.do.snow. Actually as far as I'm concerned snow is great but ice is not and while I may drive safely the other people do not, especially idiots in non 4 wheel drive pickups with no weight put in the bed. Fishtail anyone? I wish I had time to really bundle up and go across the street to play in the park.

I'm so excited about what is happening to my body lately that I feel like a little kid waiting for a present. Of course I also wake up each day and expect to see more change and it doesn't work that way. I'm weighing in once a month and recording it in SparkPeople which also takes your measurements (waist, hip, and neck). It's funny not caring about stepping on every day any more, I thought I would have a hard time with it but since I have released my obsession with eating the scale neurosis has also disappeared. The weigh in thing is just sort of a curiosity since my weight has remained roughly the same since March/April of 2004 outside of my pregnancy time. Any normal body conditions time has been in the same range after I dropped the baby weight and it gets so damn old being the same for years on end, but I am sure there are worse problems out there, in fact I know there are and so seeing major changes in my strength and physique is awesome and the scale number can go fuck itself. Ta da!
I just drank a cup of Madagascar Vanilla tea and holy cow was it good, like a dessert in a cup almost, woo!
Still not overeating though I am hitting the fuzzy line between, but that is fine-this is not a normal weekend. I have familial pressure eating and I had Girlie night last evening at a great sushi place. I am pleased with my continued loyalty to my promise and myself. I'm not so sure this is IE but it is definitely mindful eating and treating my body and spirit nicely.
Yesterday I only did 18 minutes instead of 20 of cardio intervals because I kept having to stop/start over and over-maybe 7 times compared to the usual 2 I might do to take a drink and then at the end I started having light chest pains. I decided not keeling over was more important than finishing that last two minutes though it irked me.

I weighed and measured this morning and I am in SHOCK. My waist is the smallest it has been since I became cognizant of the size of my waist. I dropped an inch and a half in the last two weeks of eating with common sense and trying to slow it down and actually taste things, but with a major slack in the reins, and trying to do 4-5 quality intense workouts focusing on weight training, interval cardio, and yoga. I felt that I had moved past the point of being destroyed by the scale and I have-it had actually gone up half a pound from two weeks ago and yet I am smaller. This means muscle. This means happy Erin! Spark has you measure waist, hips, and neck. Down 1.5 inches on waist, same on hips and same on neck. The hip measurement indicated I've added muscle to my rearview which makes me very happy-the women in my family tend to have flat asses and that does not mean they stay small either. Picture a large pancake when left to molder minus exercise. I had also developed the weird love handle things that hang over people's jeans and they do exposes on with blurred faces, and those are pretty much gone. I noticed that yesterday-no big humps sitting on the top of my rear, hard to properly explain.
Anyway, things are changing, for the better, and I am most pleased.
My weight has gone from 145 avg to 149.5 this morning, and yet my waist went from 28.5 at 149lbs to 27 at 149.5. The smallest my waist got was 28 inches at 144.5 lbs obsessing over food and not having enough energy to workout. Guess which way I'm going to keep heading...

Day 3 with no coffee:
Sunday was the AIDS walk and with rushing around and trying to get there on time, I skipped my morning cup-when it's so hot outside that's not hard for me to do. So I suffered with an incredibly crappy headache which I chalked up to dehydration but later realized was caffeine related. Monday I thought, well I've already dealt with the headache, I might as well see this out...BUT DAMN I WANT SOME COFFEE!!!
I snuck back on the scale this morning instead of waiting for my official day tomorrow, and I am up a pound from a month ago. Normally that would be muchos malos, but considering the amount of crap I've eaten, just in the last week or two alone, I am very happy with that. When I told my mom I ate donuts, kelaches, funnel cake, cheese enchiladas with a michilada to drink, she almost fell out of her chair, literally. That was in one day, oh and then cookie dough ice cream for dessert. Sheesh.
Back on track, kicking ass until we go to OKC to see the fam and Hubby's friends. Is it wrong that I want to look fabulous when we see all of these people? Most of them saw me either pregnant or not long post preggers. It's not the number one thing on my mind, but it would be nice.
Upper body workout today, tomorrow yoga or cardio or...BOTH.