I think this is a record for me, I'm not sure how many posts total for the day but I know most of it was negative. I want to change the way I am feeling and thinking before I just spiral further downward-my mind is a powerful thing no matter which direction it goes.
The problem is when I get like this (which unfortunately is too often for my liking) I feel helpless and miserable and think things like, "why can't I just be happy or do other people deal with this like I do?" In reality I know that at least I have long stretches where I am okay and others have it much, much worse. Hard to keep that in mind when I am dealing with things but I know it to be true.
My gut is telling me I need to baby this leg until I am sure it is okay, it may feel fine in the morning but I tweaked it pretty badly. Step ups at the gym are doable, not on my bench at home apparently, it is just too high and my hip flexors are too tight. I should have listened to my body when it told me that but I just kept going-trying to "save" my crappy day. I felt like I was failing myself by missing my workout and so I pushed it and ended up possibly knocking my ability out for several days. Hopefully it won't be that bad, I have to think positively.
I had a mindless eating problem for a few hrs today, just kept putting empty calories in my mouth and then a bunch of a cheese/prosciutto/basil roll on top of the high sodium lunch I had when I wasn't even hungry. Not horrible in the big scheme of things but not good-I could tell I felt weird and I can now identify when I am having a day like this that usually manifests in food abuse but I still don't know how to combat it.
Possible ideas: Go do something that engages my mind completely that doesn't involve food, not sure what this would be but I think it would be a good idea. The proximity defense regarding food and also maybe it would lift my crazy mood.
Okay that's really all I can think of right now-I really don't know what else I could do-my husband tells me to think of all the good things I have which just makes me feel worse like I am ungrateful or broken. I can't control these feelings coming on and awareness in that moment of all the things I have that I seem to be not appreciating is not helpful.
I may wake up tomorrow and feel fine, I never know how it will go. I'll reassess as far as workouts go when I see how my leg is doing then.