Tuesday, December 26, 2006

I was making so much progress, Sunday night I got so many comments about how much I had changed/improved physically and then I proceeded to eat like total crap since then. Sigh. Back to basics.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

The final countdown to Christmas has arrived, I did a cardio workout this morning on our elliptical trainer and I have busted my ass for days now getting the house as pefectly clean as I can. I am exhausted. My weight is acting crazy so I am ignoring it for the moment, my plan is to minimize the non nutritious eating and drinking and to keep up with my workouts. I'm too tired to post a well thought out informative entry but have recently read a fascinating book on weight lifting and am excited to see what happens. Blargh-tiiiiired.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

No workout yesterday, I am drowning in my own fatigue over here. Also, even though still eating low calorie I went back up half a pound-I realize that's not the end of the world, but if the scale is not going down the least it can do is stay the same. I know what I need to do, mainly exercise, I just have to dig deep and find the energy. I wish I had that burst back that I had last week, I had to force myself to just straighten up around the house last night and that made me feel so tired and I went to bed early even though I got up late. Weird.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The level of ass kicking equates directly to how often I update. Logging in today and noticing that I did not update the last two days makes me stop and wonder, "Did I not update because the scale has stayed the same for the last three days and I have done no intentional exercise?" or, "Did my lack of updating affect the amount of effort?"
A chicken/egg situation if you will-do I lose my mojo and then stop writing, or do I stop writing and then lose my mojo?
I'm doing my best to just get through today, either yoga or elliptical tonight, food will be on track though I am wanting to eat all day. I've been sitting on the edge of "new territory" scale wise for three days now and it's just not going over...gotta make that extra push.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

My back has received the short end of the stick lately. A fearsome ache started building momentum hours ago and has achieved full roar by now. I stuck to my guns yesterday regarding nutrition/fitness, even after going to one of my favorite restaurants and I did NOT feel deprived with my choice. I ordered the halibut fish tacos and had 3 small bites of two different desserts (thats three total, not three each.) I then started hankering for red wine, but decided against it because I tasted the dessert, one sugar should be sufficient. I have a vague plan that if I want dessert I won't eat bread or drink-interchange those key words in the sentence, rinse repeat. The familiar litany of, "I'll just take a rest day today, my body aches" started up this morning, but I still worked fairly hard in the front yard for a little over an hour instead. I then had my best friend over to make handmade ornaments for presents and still did not eat out of plan. The scale flashed up yesterday's weight again this morning, first stall since getting my act together this time, just like I thought it would (sidenote: I ate restaurant food and expected even a tiny gain though I was very reasonable in my choice, so a maintain did not disappoint.)
I can't wait to see what tomorrow holds, happiness has returned since those horrible classes ended.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

The Fates seemed to be against me this morning-the Boy would not take a nap, my yoga dvd would not register in the player, and Christmas decoration boxes are stacked up at the end of my weight bench where I normally stand to do overhead shoulder presses with the barbell. However, I persevered-5 minute warm up on the elliptical trainer, then a full body workout as follows:1 set overhead shoulder press, seated instead of standing (to avoid the problem of perhaps twisting my knees trying to stand and straddle the bench), set of walking lunges on each side holding 18 lbs (maybe more, this is from memory), another set of presses, set of deadlifts holding dumbbells, inclined pushups off the side of the trailer, then flys done on the weight bench. Tedious typing this out? You betcha! Okay, then more walking lunges, same as before, then lots more pushups but off the weight bench this time so much harder (much closer to being horizontal), tricep push over my head, then finished up with calf raises.
THEN. I came inside and did some stretching on my mat: down dog, plank, reclined relaxation, some spinal twists, and some hamstring/glute stretches. Oh and some pilates ab work.
Wow this is probably the most poorly constructed entry ever, but I don't care at the moment-my arms are hurting holding my arms up to TYPE because I was such a badass this morning. I forgot about the backbreaking yard work last night and this morning too, only 20 minutes total, but still a good extra effort.
I have dropped 4 lbs since Monday so something must be going right. Like I said, now I'm at 145.5 so it should be intersting what happens next since the "fake" lbs are gone.
Going to an Egyptian exhibit today at the Kimball and then hopefully finishing up all my gift wrapping tonight.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Exhausted today, back aching and eyes heavy-I should be engaging in my yoga practice right this minute as the baby sleeps and yet I feel too hungry to do so. Have I gotten off my ass and actually made something to eat? No. Last night marked the last final of this semester and so I am actually free today, but I know it will take awhile for it to sink in and the stress to melt away a bit. I had to ask my husband to roll blue star emu crap on my back last night it hurt so much, and then on the way to the grocery this morning it hurt badly in the car. The thing that passes as interesting here, is this is all from studying, and I know that yoga would HELP, but that may have to wait until later. I am not falling off the horse, just trying to get sorted.
Sparkpeople rocks! Or at least so far it looks amazing, yet I feel too mentally fatigued to play with it much at this point. I am excited at the prospect of maybe finding some people to bike/walk with in the DFW area, I have a great bicycle that I have hardly used because it is really not safe to go alone around here, though I have done so a few times (nervous the whole time that something would happen). Maybe I just need a pistol holster mounted somewhere, ha! Then I would fall down and shoot myself and no one would find my deserted body before the rabid squirrels got to me.
Back to 146 this morning, started the week at 149.5, so obviously this consists of water weight, or maybe these same pounds that keep ponging around come off easier? When it gets to 145-145.5 I know it will stick for awhile, maybe go down a pound, and then that happens to be the number that I self sabatage ever single time. I've lost nearly 30 lbs AGAIN, and yet this last 10-15 keeps digging in for the long haul. So annoying.
Reading about compulsive eating and trigger foods has really hit home for me, and I am no longer going to put myself in positions that are setup for failure. I don't know I throw myself in with things I KNOW I have a hard time limiting/experiencing wisely and then berating myself for this "weakness". What the hell? Do I like feeling badly? That's rhetorical but I'll answer anyway, "No!" I hate to restrict anyone around me but I told Hubby he may just have to eat pizza with other people and he didn't batt an eye and just said, "Okay." Boy, that was sooo hard, right? Ugh. Okay, pizza, specialty breads, casserole type dishes, chili, chips, goldfish, cookies (esp. cookies), and alcohol to name a few-just get.to.me. Enough is enough, maybe that will be fine for once a week during maintainence, but I am not where I want to be and behaving as though I am only gets me stuck here longer. Healthy habits, healthy lifestyle, and giving myself a break by not constantly going on this crazy for me only show of "Temptation Food Island."

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Every muscle in my body aches, or at least it seems that way to me this morning. Rodney Yee's Total Body Power Yoga should definitely be considered a strength building program in addition to flexibility training. Walking the halls of my college Tuesday night at a rather quick pace found me somewhat short of breath and in turn, scared. No reason exists for someone of my age and previous (short time ago) fitness level, to be regressing so far to the land of huff n' puff.
One last final exam tonight and then I'm free, to do what I want, any old tiiiiiime. Well if you are not counting the constant time constraints and responsibilities of being Moe-ma.
The scale inches downward again, I've done three intentional workouts this week and am feeling in control once more. Here's to breaking that "low" and blasting through to the other side.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Just a quickie: Eating is still somewhat off track but I worked out again a bit ago after a much too long break and I am feeling sort of high. Finals this week, then I am kicking some major ass, mine to be specific.
I have a sick baby to attend to, but there is so much to say. Be back soon hopefully.

Monday, December 04, 2006

I haven't stopped wanting to write or gone off the deep end either, I am just insanely busy with school work. I'll probably get a chance to update this weekend...I'm still reading and silently (for now) supporting.